The Problem with Christmas

One of the coolest things about the conversion from religion to relationship is the chance to see things from a perspective that you never could before. One that struck me like a 2 x 4 this year was Christmas. I just couldn't get into the holiday festivities with any real joy. Sure, I knew that this was the celebration of the birth of Jesus, but I couldn't look past the commercialism and shallow nature of the way our society treats Christmas.

Then I heard a couple of sermons and talked with some folks that got me thinking... and changed my perspective. First of all, there is the idea that Christmas makes no sense whatsoever unless you view it through the lens of Easter. Working backwards, Jesus was born to die as a perfect sacrifice. The culmination of everything and the act that sealed our salvation was His death and resurrection. Prior to His death, He had the opportunity to teach the people around Him and it was documented for us in the Bible. Then there was the birth itself. This was an end to 400 years of silence from God to His people.

Each of these should be celebrated, no doubt, but I think it's Easter that should be the one we really get behind. Yet it's Christmas that is celebrated and prepared for encompassing at least two months every year. Even the church seems to place a bigger focus on Christmas than Easter. Why is that?

#1 - Jesus was a disappointment to the Jews.

They thought He would come as a mighty warrior, not a humble servant. His birth and coming were widely anticipated and celebrated, but the reality of how He came didn't live up to the expectation. It was so bad, that the very people that celebrated His arrival had Him crucified. Even now, people of the Jewish faith don't believe that Jesus was the promised Messiah.

#2 - Babies are cute and vulnerable.

This is where I think society feels free to do what they want with Christmas. Jesus as a baby is cute. Babies aren't threatening to us. In fact, they need us! How easy is it to believe in a Savior that actually needs us as opposed to the other way around?

#3 - Nobody can overcome death.

Yet Jesus did! Replacing the cute, needy baby Jesus is a Savior so powerful that death itself can not contain Him. Someone that can defeat death? That makes Him invincible! Invincible is threatening, it can't be beat, and it doesn't need me for anything. The fact that Jesus comes to save us, that we need Him, and that there isn't anything He needs from us is repulsive in our culture. We are a society of self made men and women. We don't need anyone else's help unless they're a stepping stone up the ladder. But there it is in black and white and red. Every one of us needs a Savior and we are hopelessly lost without Him... the opposite of what our culture is feeding us.

So yes, let's celebrate Christmas. Let's celebrate the end of God's silence. But let's not forget that the birth and the teaching are meaningless without the death and resurrection. Without Christ's sacrifice and defeat of death, Jesus was just another fanatic or prophet at best. But He's so much bigger than that.

As we transition out of Christmas, let's look forward to the Easter season. Let's talk about the all-powerful, all-knowing Savior of the entire world. Let's tell our children about the man Jesus became rather than focusing on the baby that He was. Let's celebrate the fact that we are weak and helpless, and that it is us that needs Him.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

How Big is Your Jesus?

Luke 7:36 - 50 recounts the story of the sinful woman who comes in and washes Jesus' feet with tears, dries them with her hair, and then puts expensive perfume on them. When questioned by Simon over this behavior, He goes on to tell a brief story of two men.

41 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?”

Of course the one that was forgiven more loved more than the one forgiven less. The point that Jesus was making was that people who feel like they have very little to be forgiven tend to love Jesus very little, yet those that realize how much they have been forgiven love Him much more. 

The attitude that we carry today is very similar, but we are far more widespread as the one who has been forgiven little thanks to the message that "You are perfect just like you are" and "It's all about you." Let me put this idea from Jesus in a slightly different way. For most of us, Jesus tends to be only as big as the worst things you've been forgiven for. This is because we tend to believe only what our tangible experiences have taught us. Head knowledge tends to be meaningless unless we have had some kind of event to tie it to our hearts and make it real. 

Christians that have the strongest faith often have terrible things in their past. For some it was circumstances that they had no control over while others chose the path they went down. A fortunate number did not have to experience personal tragedy, but have been involved in significant events that there was no other explanation than that Christ Himself intervened to do something that should have been impossible. 

The reality is that Jesus had to dive just as deep into hell to pursue me as He did every other person out there, including you. One of the biggest issues that I had in my Pharisaical life was that I didn't really have a need for Jesus. Forgiving me for a cuss word wasn't that big of a deal. Checking out the women at the gym; it was only looking, I didn't touch. Training for triathlon instead of being home with my family; I was staying healthy so I would be around longer. 

Never did I think of myself as evil. I was a good person that sinned occasionally. Unfortunately, that is a lie that too many of us that call ourselves Christian fall prey to. You and I are born into evil and are evil by nature. Not just kind of bad, but truly evil. 

What is tragic about not coming to that realization is that it limits how big Jesus is to us. When He's forgiven the really, really big stuff, He's a really big Jesus. When you only feel like He needs to forgive the little sins, He's pretty small to you. The reality is that He's infinitely big, but you'll only begin to understand how impossibly powerful He is when you are able to see how impossibly lost you are without Him.

Why Christianity Can Be So Disenchanting

Romans 7: 21 - 24

"So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am!"
You might be interested to know that the above quote is written by Paul about himself. Yes, that would be St. Paul. The greatest champion of the early Christian church. Author of half the New Testament of the Bible.

I was listening to my favorite Christian radio station yesterday and starting thinking about the lyrics of many of the songs. My mind also wandered to many sermons I've listened to. Well, the majority of songs and sermons actually. There's something very important missing from them. Something critical to the new believer and the would-be believer. Christianity doesn't make you perfect and it doesn't take away your desire to sin.
We hear all of these things about how we should live and think, how good God is, and about the amazing things He has done. It just doesn't seem to happen for us. That must mean we either aren't really a Christian, or maybe our sin is too great to overcome, right? Wrong, but it's very easy for me to see why it comes across that way. When people talk and sing, they pick topics that sound really good, but they leave out what Paul is discussing here.

In the above verse, Paul has just finished telling us that he does the things he hates rather than the good things his mind desires to do. This is the post-conversion Paul by the way. He's telling us that being Christian doesn't make you perfect or life easy. It makes life harder. You now have the Spirit in a constant battle against the sin you were born with. It's a fight that lasts your entire lifetime. It's only over at death.

Let me share this with you: as a Christian, you will still sin. You will lose battles. You will make a choice that is clearly the wrong one and feel guilty about it afterward. You will win over your favorite sin one day and lose the next. Christianity simply offers that when you mess up, Christ covers it. It also offers that the Spirit living in you will do battle against your sinful nature.

There will be improvement. You will feel moments that match what the songs and sermons say. They'll slowly grow more frequent and longer in duration. But you won't escape every form of sin. Every obstacle you overcome presents a new one. The Christian life isn't easy, my friends. Anyone who preaches health and wealth while ignoring the reality is a liar. No one should be telling you that it's easy, only that the it's worth it.

Why Married Men Should Still Be On Dating Sites

There are dating sites, and then there are dating sites. When a person mentions that they are on a dating site, visions tend to pop up of Match, E-Harmony, or any of the other multitude of "dating" sites. There's an inherent problem that my Lady and I were discussing just last night concerning these sites, but I'll leave the issue of "shopping for a mate" for another time.

No, I'm talking about real dating sites. You know, how to date women kind of sites. My Princess and I are confident about where the Lord is leading us, but you'll still find me on dating sites. I think that married men should be on them as well. I believe that and do that because it's important to remember what dating really is... the pursuit of a woman. Trust me on this, or just ask one, but women (and men, for that matter) want to be pursued. It's an integral part of romance.

One of my favorite things to do is peruse Facebook to see what Good Guy Swag and All Pro Dads have posted. If I find something really good, I get to share it with my Lady. After she gets a chance to read it, we have something solid and meaningful to discuss. Through the course of discussion, I get to learn more about her, what she likes, and how she would like to be treated.

If you're single, use some discretion when looking at information from dating sites and be sure to choose who you listen to wisely. For those of us that are dating and married, the topics here are wonderful discussion generators that help us connect to the Daughter that God Himself has blessed us with. For you married men out there, "never stop dating your wife" is a really important part of your marriage and keeping romance alive. Staying connected to real dating sites will give you ways to keep getting to know who she is and rekindle the feelings that were there when you first started dating.

Not sure how this could actually work? Here's an article from Good Guy Swag about being a gentleman and the lost art of chivalry. Read it with your Lady and use it as a discussion starter. Find out what she thinks about those ideas, then start perusing those dating sites a little more and learn how to date your mate again!

http://goodguyswag.com/21-lost-gentleman-traditions-that-still-apply-today/

The Sunset and Storm - Looking Down

I was (an still am) awestruck by what I wrote about in The Sunset and Storm. In those minutes, I was inspired to look beyond what was happening in the sky and consider what it told me about God. I was me looking up at Him through those elements. But what would you see looking down from His perspective through the lens of the sunset and the storm?

There is the storm - a blend of moisture, warm and cold air, positive and negative charges, and decreasing pressure. The more of these elements that are mixed together, the more violent their collision becomes. Much like our lives, "minor" sins create minor rain showers. But those minor sins are the same elements found in major storms; add more of them and give them more time to develop and the collision becomes more violent when it all comes out.

Oh yes, my storm was the creation made from relatively minor things that were left alone to develop in my heart and soul. As I allowed those elements to mix and added to them, they grew stronger until even my pride and arrogance could no longer contain it. And what a storm it created. Strong enough to rip apart my life and leave me with almost nothing... but there was a glimpse of the Son in my storm.

Taking my eyes off of the storm and fixing them on the Son of God Himself left me with hope and the promise of peace. I look to the future at the sunset and see the way He is taking the darkness and using it to paint a picture that is so beautiful you don't want to take your eyes off of it for fear that you may miss out on even a moment. That sunset is not complete. He is still taking the elements of the storm and creating something that evolves as each minute passes. He has not yet revealed what that picture will look like at the height of His glory.

There are those that understand grace, and they delight in watching the Lord at work in someone's storm. There are those that don't understand grace, and they are scared by the storm. When we've brewed a massive storm, when it's out there for everyone to see, it changes a person - sometimes for the better, often for the worse. When we choose to allow Christ to take on our storm, He is faithful to not only rescue us from its danger, but to also create the sunset. Yet that sunset was not meant only for us to see, He created it so that the world might know of His grace and mercy.

Only Christ can take our storms and turn them into sunsets. The more elements we brew into our storms, the more elements He has to work with. The greater the storm, the more incredible the sunset.

So you have a choice. You can stare at my storm and see my sin. You can stare at my sunset and see the change. Or you can see both, and as your eyes slowly turn from my storm to my sunset with no clear line between them, be in awe of the way our Savior takes the darkest storms to create the most incredible sunset.

The Sunset and The Storm

As I sit on the wall of a church staring at the second crazy beautiful sunset I've experienced in a week, my mind begins to wander towards my Lord and Savior who created it all. My contemplation of the beauty of the sunset is interrupted behind me by the sound of thunder and I watch cloud to cloud lightning spider web across the darkening sky.

My mind is drawn towards the contrast. On one side, the beauty of God displayed in a fiery sunset. On the other, His power displayed in a storm. As I allow my eyes to flip back and forth between beauty and power, I begin to slow down and consider the barrier between the two. There is none. The power of the storm fades into the beauty of the sunset with no clear delineation between the end of one and the beginning of the other.

That's when I begin to realize that it takes the elements of the storm to create the beauty of the sunset. Without the storm, there is still a sunset. However, the clouds and moisture take what is normally a bright orange end to the day and tosses in reds, purples, blues, and hints of green in no way that an artist would consider on his own. An artist can't begin to recreate the dynamics of a scene like this and no camera can capture it in its entirety.

The colors aren't stable. They change as the sun continues to sink below the horizon until the sky itself appears to be on fire. There is still a sunset without the storm and there is still a storm without the sunset. It takes both to create the awe inspiring picture that makes me forget everything else and stare. There is the smell of rain and the sound of thunder. Look at the sunset and the occasional flash of lightning highlights the darker blues and purples. Look at the storm and the darkness is made brighter around the edges by the sunset.

There's more to it than just the realization of the blend of power and beauty. I begin to realize that the scene is really a picture of grace. You can stare at the beauty of a sunset and see that God is beautiful. You can be in awe of the power in a storm and know that God is strong. But when you see God's beauty with an understanding of His power, that's when you get the real beauty of grace. It's the blend of knowing how powerful He is and that you can't measure up to His standard that grace becomes beautiful to the point of awe struck silence.

It inspires the tear that is simultaneously born from the shame of guilt and joy of redemption. It's the way God overwhelms you with how awesome He truly is. That's when everything else begins to lose significance, gratitude begins to take over, and real change starts to happen in your heart. That's what grace that is greater than all my sin does when you finally see that is more than just words in a book. 

That Guy Who Sleeps in Church

There was a guy in the church that I grew up in that always fell asleep. I mean always, as in every Sunday without fail... as soon as the preacher started preaching. What made it worse was that he sat up front and everyone could see him. Oh yeah, and he would snore. For those of us good pharisees, we talked about it. And as all good pharisees do, it was behind his back. There was even a meeting among the church leaders to decide what should be done about it.

That experience was one of many in my upbringing as a pharisee. That would be my youth and young adult upbringing in the church, not what my parents taught me to be. I have no doubt that there have been good, God honoring, and honest people in every church that I have been a part of, but I learned from an early age how to judge people like the Sleeper.

Recently, I noticed a man sleeping in church again. It was tempting to fall into the same mindset, roll my eyes, and go back to taking sermon notes like a good Christian. Instead, I watched him from the corner of my eye for a while and witnessed something I never expected.

Psalm 7: 1 - 2 NIV "Lord my God, I take refuge in You; save and deliver me from all who pursue me, or they will tear me apart like a lion and rip me to pieces with no one to rescue me."

What most people wouldn't know about this man is that he shows up much earlier than most everyone else, gets on his knees at the front of the church, and prays. As I watched him on this Sunday, I saw peace in his face as he slept. There is no telling what he faces day in and day out. One thing was obvious though - no matter what the troubles in his life are, he believes that God is physically present in that church.

Since he knows that God is there, he feels protected and is very literally taking refuge in His presence. It doesn't matter if he heard a word of the sermon. He is experiencing God's love and grace in that time that he finds tangible rest and peace in Him. That, my friends, is something that we could all take a lesson from.

That Sinking Feeling

In Matthew 14:22 - 33, we read the story of Jesus walking on the water and Peter going out to meet Him. If you're familiar with the story, then you know that Peter makes it out part way, loses focus, and starts to sink. Only by crying out for Jesus to save him does he come out of the story safely.

For a long time, this story had been, well, just a story to me. A cute reminder that we should always look to Jesus. After all, I'm not trying to walk on water, I'm just trying to navigate life. Like most things in the Bible that have become more and more real to me, it took experiencing the tangible reality of this historical event to really understand what we can learn from it. 

I've referenced the shame of what is in my past on several occasions. I hate the man that I allowed sin to turn me into. The more I've returned to "normal" life, the more distant I am from those events and more distinctly different I am to the point that it literally feels like that was a different person. Still, the realities that it was my life hit me hard from time to time. 

The times that I have shared my testimony and story with others, I have been confident in the work that Christ has done in my life and that the change was obvious to the person I was speaking to. This time though, the risk was different than what I had been placed in before. Instead of looking to Christ and being confident in the work He has done, I looked back at my past in fear of being defined by it. I was scared. I started sinking as the fear began to instill a sense of panic. 

Fortunately, I had the opportunity to be reassured by who I was with and to stop and pray for Jesus to save me from sinking again. Sure enough, my confidence began to return as I changed my gaze from looking back to looking forward. It's never easy to confront those things in our past that we're ashamed of. Sometimes we do lose sight of the cross and begin to sink. It's incredibly comforting to know that He will still save us when we call on His name, even when we think we're supposed to have it all figured out. 

Know When to Fight

Cyclists have a special relationship with hills. Mainly, we all hate them, but they are inevitable part of our sport. Some cyclists like to go fast on the flats and downhills, but then they don't have the energy for the climbs, so they put it in the lowest gear and just suffer through it. Others will try to maintain the same effort level all the time, so they slow down on the hills but still work just as hard.

The greats though, they're a different breed. They embrace the hills. They work on the downhills and flats, but at a level that they know can be maintained. Something special happens when they get to the hills - they fight to get over them. All the energy they've saved goes into attacking that hill and reaching the summit before they can relax coming back down the other side... and leaving their competitors way behind and out of breath.

Here's the thing though, attacking the hills makes them easier. Your muscles respond and grow to the training and the more you work hard on them, the easier they are to deal with.

James 1: 2 - 4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that it is the testing of your faith that produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Just like many cyclists, we tend to put a lot of energy into the good times. It's easy to put effort into the times that benefit us and we want to get there quickly. After all it's fun to go fast. Some people are able to maintain the effort level and balance it between the good and bad times. The greats though, they work during times that are easy and fun, but they fight when times get tough.

James reminds us that the trials are coming. He also reminds us that those trials produce the perseverance to continue. The greater our perseverance, the easier those trials are to fight through, even as they get tougher in nature. Don't put so much effort into all the fun stuff in life that you're too exhausted to do anything but struggle during the trials. Work at a level that you know you can maintain and when those trials come, fight to stay in the Word, fight to be faithful in prayer, fight to be faithful to your Savior. It's a guarantee that He is still fighting for you.

Imagine the response in your spouse, children, family, or friends when hard times come and they see you step up your effort and fight for them!

Living Proof

In Prince Caspian from the Chronicles of Narnia series, we find that the residents of Narnia no longer really believe in Aslan. They've heard the stories, they've seen the historical sites of the battles past down through the generations, but they just don't seem to believe anymore. They're a lot like us, actually. We've got the Bible that is full of evidence that Jesus was the promised Messiah, the stories of His life, and how the early church got started. We even have unfulfilled prophesy of what to look for as the end of times draws near. Like the Narnians though, we're very much a "What have you done for me lately?" Kind of people.

Enter Lucy. Lucy never loses faith in Aslan even though her own brothers and sister consider her quite naive. Some scoff at the idea of Aslan since it has been so long since he has been seen. Others have never heard of him. Peter, Susan, and Edmond, who were there to see him before, are increasingly skeptical that he is still with them. It's an excellent snapshot of our society. Those that have never heard the Truth, those that don't believe it because they haven't seen it themselves, and those that have forgotten the faithfulness of Christ that they had experienced previously.

Little Lucy though never stops believing in Aslan. She reminds herself of his goodness when others would have her doubt. She points others to what he has done along the journey. Even when things point to their imminent destruction, she holds fast to what she knows to be true. She is the constant whisper that keeps others from completely falling away from the belief in Aslan. In a strange twist, when everyone wants to believe that they are on their own, she creates the doubt in their minds that maybe he really is watching and waiting to intervene.

Matthew 5:14 - 16, "You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to you Father who is in Heaven."

Christian, this is our role in society. In a world that is trying everything it can to remove God from the equation, we are the ones that create doubt in their minds by making them wonder if He really is who He says He is. We point not only to the historical evidence, but also the evidence in our own lives. We tell people about the times when we can reach no other conclusion than that God was working and had His hand in the process. We tell them how He has protected us, guided us, and offered us His tangible grace and mercy. We are the living, breathing, evidence that He is who He says He is and that He is alive and well.

Our story does not end with our salvation, our role changes to become ambassadors for Christ, to point other towards Him. When others reach the end of themselves, we give them hope against hope that He is really who we claim He is. Surely then, it is critical that we conduct ourselves and speak in ways that create that hope instead of skepticism. Being the living proof of God's existence and love is no easy task, and we cannot possibly do it well on our own. We seek Him for and in everything in our lives... and we openly let others see us do it.

Hey Jealousy

Remember that song by the Gin Blossoms? Yeah, they might have found a way to turn jealousy into something beneficial for them by making money on it, but for those of us that have been around uncontrollably jealous people, it's not pleasant. I had the honor of having a conversation with the sister of a very special young lady in my life who suggested that I share the thoughts from it with you. I think it's a great idea, so here we go!

In the interest of keeping everyone happy, I took the names out.

One thing to note as you read is that in Galatians 5:16 - 26, Paul lists specific signs that we are living in the flesh and includes jealousy. Note the contrast to the fruits of the Spirit that he tells us about after that.



Your sister and I were talking through your questions about jealousy last night, and while I'm sure she has responded to you, I thought I would follow up as well.


For starters, being jealous can have several possible meanings in this scenario - 1) a suspicion of faithfulness in the relationship, 2) fiercely protecting an object (or in this case, person), or 3) the fear of losing the relationship (which really isn't jealousy, but we'll get there soon enough).


Obviously, the first thing to consider is what is at at the source of those feelings, but there are significant flaws no matter which form he is feeling right now. In the case of suspicion, he doesn't trust you, which is never a good foundation for a relationship. If he's looking at you as an object that he must protect, well, there is the issue that he sees you as an object and not an intelligent, rational individual who, oh by the way, happens to be a daughter of the One True God and is under His protection. If it's a fear of losing the relationship, his hope is misplaced and the relationship itself becomes his idol or god. It places you in an impossible situation where you are on such a high pedestal of expectations, that you will either crumble under the weight of them or he will be in a constant state of disappointment.


Okay, I feel like I'm doing a lot of guy bashing, and while we guys deserve it, there's always hope for redemption. In any of these situations, they come apart because of disappointment, and disappointment always comes from misplaced hope. Whether his hope is in the relationship, the way you make him feel, or in his ability to make it all work from sheer will power, it's not where it needs to be. From talking with your sister, I am certain you know this already, but his hope needs to be placed in Christ.


One thing that we talk about a lot is how difficult it is for people that have not been humbled to the point that they have no choice but to trust God for the next day, step, or even breath to know what it means to be at the end of yourself. That's where God does His best work because we have nothing left to fight against Him with. Then we realize that He'll catch us no matter what ridiculous decisions got us to that place. It's a challenge for folks that do get it, because it's impossible for us to articulate in words how that experience can make the change.


I would encourage you to remember that it's not your job to change him, it's God's. When a person changes to meet the expectations of the guy/gal they want to be with, it builds resentment, but when God changes a heart, if builds gratitude. I would also encourage you to pray specifically for him if you're not already (but I'd bet that you are). Be straight with God and don't worry about sounding eloquent. Some of the most beneficial time in prayer that I've spent are times that I've admitted to God that I don't like what He's doing, but that I still trust Him and will praise Him regardless of the circumstance.


One of the things that your sister and I have done pretty much since our first date is to start our day with prayer. I text her a short prayer for us before I even say good morning. It just gets us focused where we need to be for the day. We also pray when we're together, even if it's just a real short "Thank You for having a couple of hours to spend together." I know that it's not easy to set the expectation that prayer is just simply part of what your relationship is going to include, but I know that for both your sister and I, knowing that relationship is being intentionally focused on Christ calms a lot of fears for both of us.

It's War!

I don't typically use this blog as a rant, but today, I think we have a teachable moment that will benefit us and give us pause for those of us that are parents. The story goes something like this:

David hits Manny. Manny can't hit David back because of the people that are watching him. So Manny goes and says bad things about David to anyone that will listen and by his language, insinuates that he would like to kill David. 

Sounds like any typical 5 years olds that you know? 

Try adults. Grown men that happen to be professional baseball players. David Price is the ace pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays and Manny Ortiz is the big hitter for the Boston Red Sox. Okay, I get it, a 94 mph fastball hurts when it hits you. Still, Manny has declared that "it's war" between the two of them now. Really, Manny? War? You're seriously going to tell me that because you got a bruise to your body and your ego that you now consider him as an enemy to the point that it would be your goal to kill the man?

David, Manny, you two are allegedly grown ups. Grown ups that get paid millions of dollars to play a game. A game, Manny, not a war. My first issue with your analogy is that it is completely disrespectful to our men and women actually serving. When they get hit, it leaves more than just a bruise, and they might not get to play the next day or even walk again. I have other issues as well. While you're getting paid to play that game, there's a kid about my son's age in the stands with his dad who doesn't get paid millions of dollars that saved for a month to bring his kid out to watch your temper tantrum. That might actually be my son and I. So thanks for being such a great role model in showing my son what is truly important in life. I'll be sure to talk to him about it even though he'll be disappointed in you when he realizes you were wrong. 

I'm not saying that you need to toss the ball back to him and turn to the other side so he can hit that one as well, but a little bit of maturity goes a long way. Yes, the media is going to eat up your comments, but we could be talking about you WAY beyond that if your response was more measured. What if you'd picked up the ball, smiled, walked slowly out to the mound to hand David the ball, and patted him on the back before returning to the plate and walking to first? Dude, come on! We'd be talking about you every time someone got mad when they were hit by a pitch! 

Look, no matter what we do in life, we have come to expect and even tolerate poor reactions when things don't go our way. But stop for a moment and take a look at the people around you and in your lives. I'd be willing to bet that the ones you gravitate towards are the ones that respond with love in their disappointment. They're approachable in difficult times and help find real and good solutions to move forward. 

There is so much really good stuff in I Corinthians 13, but allow me to focus on verse 11 - "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways."

Hey Manny, David, I still believe that you can change. The mistake doesn't define who we are, but we will be remembered by the way we move forward. Society has taught us to remain children though. You're going to have to break through that if you want to show that you're the adult here. An apology goes a long way, but owning up to your part of the wrong and unsolicited forgiveness will go even farther!

All I Know is that I Don't Know

John 9:25b - "One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see."

For the outsider, man, God is a confusing being. There are plenty of ways that they question the love, faithfulness, or even possibility of Him. How can God let bad things happen to good people? How can God allow natural disasters to happen? How can God be three completely separate beings yet one whole? How can God have always been there? Science is actively trying to find the "God particle". Terrible things happen all over the world at the hands of wicked people. It can be really frustrating to wrap your head around the idea that God is good, yet all of these things happen.

In John 9, Jesus healed a man that had been blind. The Pharisees (my old colleagues) questioned him first, then his parents, who deferred back to their son, who was of age to answer for himself. See, the Pharisees were divided - they couldn't figure out how a sinner could perform a miracle, but clearly He wasn't of God since He did the work on the Sabbath. In a stroke of shear honesty, the man simply says (paraphrased), "I don't know what He is, all I know is that earlier today I was blind, but now I can see."

I don't have answers to those hard questions for you. While theologians can answer some, it is impossible for us to fully know an infinite God this side of heaven. All I can do is point to the evidence in my own life as an example. There are things that were meant for evil that were turned into good. There are choices that I made in faith with no ability in and of myself to make it work out. There are simply points in my life that there is no other explanation for other than there is a loving God who is actively working in my life, and I have seen it in other people's lives as well.

While I do not know what it is like to be totally blind physically, I am very aware of what it is to be spiritually blind. I didn't even know I was blind until Christ opened my eyes. It's frustrating for people that have had this eye opening experience to not be able to say in words what can help you see what we can. It's the experience of Christ doing that work that makes the change. All I can do is point to my life as an example of the amazing work of Christ in the hopes that you will believe it can happen and that real change is possible. Our God has a perspective infinitely larger than any of us could possibly imagine. So what if we just start with the assumption that God really is love, and pray together that He opens our eyes to see the world through His eyes?

I'll end with this paraphrase from C.S. Lewis - "I believe in [Christ] as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but by it I see everything else."

Yes, friends, when God opens your eyes it is so significant that it is like you are seeing for the very first time, and your world will never be the same!

Bragging Rights

2 Corinthians 10:17 - Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.

Bragging - it gets a negative spin, but it's fun! It brings attention and affirmation to ourselves. You just ran your fastest 5k (or your first 5k!), you got a promotion, you're in a relationship with someone you're crazy about, you're part of a new church plant, you're.... you get the idea. We like the boost to our egos when we are affirmed and people "like" our bragging in the form of a status update on Facebook.

Why is boasting so wrong? For starters, it brings attention to us, but if we look at ourselves objectively, there's a much different picture than what we're painting. God gave you the strength and endurance for that personal best, He put the pieces in place for your promotion, He orchestrated the meeting between you and her, it's His church and not yours. Got it? Every good thing comes from God in His grace and mercy. On our own, we're nothing. We're just sinners floundering in a sea of consequences directly tied to our actions. Secondly, your boasting is cause for someone else to become jealous of what you have. Why cause your brother to stumble?

What Paul is trying to get us to see is that the good stuff isn't because of something we did, it's because of what God did. If you're going to brag about it, boast about the way that God's hand was in every part of the process and tell people you had nothing to do with it - because you really didn't! When you boast in Christ and your brother wants what you have, he can have it! As a bonus, you can help him get it. Paul actually tells us to boast in our weakness and I would add failure to that as well. When we talk about ourselves humbly in the reality of our situation, we act as trophies and testimonies to the goodness of our God since we show off that all good things we have are by His hand.

See, like just now, I took a sip of my smoothie and dripped it right down my shirt. Awesome. But that's what I'm good at; making messes. God cleans us up through the redeeming work of Christ. Notice there's no mention of anything I did to earn that. Christ did not say "No one comes to the Father except through me, but I made a couple of exceptions for a few people because they work hard."

Try this for a week - when you're on Facebook and you really want to post something about you, write it in a way that shows off God's goodness. If you can't figure out how to write it, then brag about someone else and boost their ego instead of yours. When you make your life the "Look What Jesus is Doing" show, people will want what you have, and that is worth boasting about!

Controlled by Christ

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 - "For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."

You know, we really had it pretty good before The Fall. Adam and Eve got to walk in the garden with God each day and experience His love in a very tangible way. Of course we all know the story, sin entered the world and separated us from God. No longer do we have the advantage of that very real, physical relationship with our Creator. That doesn't mean that He no longer loves us, and it doesn't mean that He won't find ways to still do that tangibly.

Consider 2 Corinthians 5:14-15. If Christ lives in us and we now live for Him, does that not make us tools available for His use? Certainly He can use us to show His love to others! Sometimes though, our vision of Christ's love is limited. We only have one word for love, but the Greeks had 3: agape (unconditional), phila (brotherly), and eros (romantic). Keep in mind that God is in His very essence, love, and He's the inventor of it. If the Greeks could identify three separate forms, then certainly God's love for us is made up of all of those.

Take agape, the unconditional love of a parent in God the Father. A good parent is willing to do anything to protect their child, including taking the pain on themselves to spare the child. Sound familiar, like God providing a way to take our place? Then there's phila, the brotherly love of our Savior and brother. In that role, it is more of a sense of accountability, counsel, and friendship, marked with the a willingness to back us up no matter what. Finally, there's eros, the love of a romance. This seems to be the easiest to forget and toughest to wrap our minds around. Even so, we're referred to as the bride of Christ, and that is clearly a reference to a romantic form of love. Think of the imagery of a bride and groom becoming one flesh, then consider the way the Spirit lives in you as a part of who you are.

When I considered each of these I thought of the agape love of my mother, the phila love of my brothers and sisters (both biological and those that adopted me), and even the eros love of a special young lady. No matter who they are, they each offer a glimpse of the love of Christ in their own way. We're all broken, so none of them can offer the complete package, nor are any of them perfect in their own role (not that they don't try!), but they do offer insight. I find it encouraging that God uses people in our lives to offer us these hints of what He is about by extending His love through Christ in us. While each of these are satisfying in their own way, the full love of our Father will be so much greater when we can experience it in all its perfection!

Battle for a Soul

"Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts..."

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

It's easy to take over someone's soul. You simply make sure the path they walk is easy and fun. You make sure that they are focused on themselves. Feed them what they want to hear and before long, they believe it enough that they will no longer need me to guide their path to eternal damnation. The problem comes in when something sudden happens that makes them ask questions. It wakes them from the drunkenness of themselves and it's most serious form, allows them to realize that it is not about them.

I saw the daylight flickering in his eyes. He was waking up and recognized me as his enemy instead of his friend. I wasn't out of options though... not by any means. The realization of what I'd led him to do was the fuel, all I had to do was ignite it with a steady stream of guilt and shame. When a person wakes up, there is the possibility that you can lull them back to sleep. Not so with this one. The speed in which the Enemy was closing in on him was startling, and I knew my best chance was to end his life. So I reminded him of the gun cabinet and how easy it be. Over in less than a second and he would never have to bear the weight of consequence. Though he held the barrel beneath his chin, I was unable to get him to pull the trigger.

Unable to speak to anyone, he cut himself off from everyone but his mother and brother who convinced him to come stay with them. I should have had many opportunities to finish him off, but my Enemy had arrived and held me back. He (the man) was in a trance - he could not hear either of us nor respond. He simply went through a series of automatic motions and my Enemy guided him to his family. He tried to explain what happened and in doing so, opened his mind back up. I took my chance and invaded it. I tortured him to the point of causing physical pain and exhaustion. He could only stay awake for a few hours each day because of the toll it took on him. When he would sleep (and it would be as much as 16 hours every day), I planted nightmares and forced him to relive the Temptation and how he succumbed to it. He would wake up panicked and sweating, face streaked with tears from the terror that it was real all over again.

This was a very effective tactic and I had him where I needed him. It should have been natural to turn him to addiction or even back to self-righteousness, but he was around followers of the Enemy. Not the ones you find in church on Sunday, staring down judgement on sinners, but ones that had a real and lasting relationship with the Enemy. The Enemy was not winning the Battle for his Soul in his heart and mind, so he used others to get in where I had blocked. He recognized that I was inside him and even referred to me in his writings, but my grip was strong. He began to pray to the Enemy and his Father that he would be released from me. This was the turning point of the Battle. He had not experienced the presence and beauty of the Enemy to that point, yet he put his hope that the Enemy was real and would respond to the promises written in the Book. It is curious to watch a man have faith and hope where he has no real belief. In most circumstances, it would result in nothing but disappointment. Yet at that moment, the Enemy was given permission to enter and though he could not pray effectively for himself, the Enemy Himself interceded on his behalf.

All I could do was redouble my grasp and hope to take him with me. To remove me means to remove one's selfish ambition with it. It can be enough to kill or drive a man insane. Those that survive the ordeal become formidable enemies themselves, but it was my only chance. As the Enemy ripped me from his soul (you cannot take me gently, for then I can hold on), the raw, open flesh of his soul was revealed and he felt pain like never before. The magnitude of his sin hit him like a person staring into the sun with dilated eyes. He could not bear it. But now that I was out, the Enemy showed his gentle, kind, and loving nature. He stood between us, arms folded. Though he spoke quietly, it resounded like thunder: "This one belongs to me. He is under my protection and you will no longer control him." He cried tears that said what no words ever could. He could not fathom that the Enemy would claim him as His own knowing that he had committed crimes against the very One now standing there. Yet, there He stood and there was no longer anything I could do about it. .

It is easy to think that the Battle would end there, but I am a crafty one and being held to no moral standard has its advantages. You see, he had children and they had not yet been claimed by the Enemy. So I attacked them, causing fear and confusion. I whispered that their father did not love them and that it was their fault he was gone. They believed me but when word of this reached him, he confidently called on the Enemy through his tears of anger and fear. The Enemy gave him strength and comfort,removed me once more, and set His angels at the doors and windows so that I might not enter that home again. I attacked him again and again through the process of divorce and had an excellent agent working with his former wife. Yet  he recognized his weakness and ran back to the Enemy who comforted him, reminded him of the cost that was paid for him, that he was loved, and that He would protect him to the end.

I had failed. Though I tore apart his family and his life, he entered into communion with the Enemy. I still test his defenses frequently, but  his confidence in the Enemy's faithfulness grows with each attempt. He now shares the Enemy's victory over sin and death and over me with greater and greater fervor. I fear he may now reach others that I have my grip on and will make more like himself. My job is much easier when being Christian means that you go to church, follow the rules, and sit on the sidelines like good boys and girls. It is easy when they let those on my path define what it means to be a Christian. There are too many that now see truth through the eyes of the Enemy and who study His Book. My hope is that by using the religious and non-religious alike, that I can make their condition seem undesirable and at least contain the spread.

*********************************************************************************

Romans 8:26 - "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

Romans 10:13 "For everyone that calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

Living the Lies

It began with a single lie, but it was an attractive lie... You will be like God. Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to her husband, Adam, and we've been believing lies ever since.

I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overcome us except that which is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

He acknowledged that he was a sinner. Everyone was. He wasn't that bad though. He was pretty good, in fact. He was in church on Sundays, one of the best at his job, kept his children in line, and kept himself in shape. That's what he portrayed anyway, and most of the time, it's also what he made himself believe. His reality was a bit different though. His marriage was toxic, his job and sport were where he defined himself, and his kids were just another responsibility to manage along with his spouse and the other people around him. The issue was much deeper though, an issue of selfishness that bordered on narcissism. That made it very easy for me to plant the first lie - You deserve better - all it took was a whisper from me to make it take hold. In his pride, he was convinced that there was no fault in him, surely the problem was his wife.

Convinced he deserved better, but unwilling to risk his sterling reputation with a divorce, he settled in to just endure until... well, he really wasn't sure what he was waiting for and that was just fine with me. When I offered The Temptation, he simply suppressed it. He didn't think he could talk to anyone about it because you're just not supposed to have those feelings, especially if you're a good Christian like he was. You're right you know, no one is supposed to feel that. You'll be rejected if you try to get help. Oh, it was so easy to manipulate his fear.

I knew The Temptation had caught his eye though. He couldn't let it go completely. He tried to suppress it, but he never really committed to fighting against it. Once, he told me that it was wrong, but his hesitancy was obvious. He wanted to believe that it was okay. So I agreed with him. Yes, it's wrong, but it can be good. You can make it good. And it's SO much better than waiting on God to do something... if he's even going to do anything! It was cake walk. Just lead him to the conclusion he wants or wishes. Don't forget to isolate him though. If he has anyone hitting him the truth too often, it can derail everything. His shame of what he was feeling took care of that. Anyone that got close enough, he cut off without any help from me. What a useful tool guilt and shame are!

When he gave in to The Temptation, I made sure that he enjoyed it. He began to believe that the fantasy could be his reality. He tried to live two lives at first, but eventually, he could only operate as the shell of his former self as his mind and heart became obsessed with The Temptation. When someone would try to intervene, I'd just hit him with - You're untouchable. You're in control. No one can outsmart you and find out. You know how he'd respond? He'd actually lie to the people closest to him. Some of his justifying started sounding hokey even to me, but he was convinced they believed him! I love self-righteous people. A little ego-boosting is all they need.

Unfortunately, he had a friend, or brother would be a better term, that would not leave him alone. It took significant time, but this man managed to get him to glimpse reality again, ever so briefly. It scared him. He knew he was in way over his head and that he wasn't in control like he thought. He wanted out. I had to be more aggressive with what I told him next. You have done something too great to be forgiven. You will lose everything if you stop now; your job, your family, your way of life. You will be rejected by everyone everywhere if they find out, and if you stop what you're doing, someone will talk! It was too close for my comfort, but it was enough for him to slip back into the fantasy rather than deal with the reality. As long as I could make him believe his fantasy was, or could be, reality, he was mine.

As if I had enough trouble keeping where I wanted him, that man refused to let me have him. He made a choice that even left me in awe. He did for his friend and brother what he could not do for himself - he made the call that would surely undo everything in his life. He would have no choice but to face reality and decide what he could do and would do. I was speechless. Now I really had my hands full. I had the upper hand, but the Battle for his Soul was beginning...

This Mysterious Thing Called Prayer

Ephesians 6:18a - "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."
Matthew 18:3 - "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven."

Prayer. It's a struggle at times. I get intimidated by people who can speak such eloquent prayers that it sounds like poetry. Sometimes when I pray, I catch myself trying to find the right words, spoken with the right mindset, with my heart in the right place, standing (or was I supposed to be kneeling?) in the right position, pointed in exactly the right position, and thinking that if I can just get it right, surely God will grant my request. That's the point where I feel pretty stupid about my prayer life. No matter how passionate my request, I've just tried to turn God into my own personal genie to grant my wishes.

I'm fairly convinced that aside from adoration, confession, and thanksgiving, all I should be praying for is that He would change my heart to be the man He needs me to be, period. In Ephesians, though, Paul encourages us to pray about anything and everything. In Matthew, we're reminded to come like little children. If you've been around little kids, you know they will ask for anything and everything. Frequently. Over and over again. No matter how many times you say "no". If it's on their heart, it's in their request to you. You see a commercial for Disney World and the kids immediately ask if the family can go. There's no thought of whether or not it's reasonable or how much it will cost.

This is how we approach our Father. He's our Dad. He wants us to tell Him what's on our hearts. Anything, no matter what it is. He wants to hear that you're lonely and want a romantic partner. He wants to know that your spouse is driving you mad. He wants to know that you'd really like to have a boat... that boat right there. Think about the role of a parent. Do you chastise your child for desiring something? No, but you don't give them everything they want, either. You know the things that are beneficial to them and you have the opportunity to use requests as teachable moments about finances, responsibility, and just life in general. Your prayer opens communication with Dad and He has the chance to bless you, comfort you, and teach you. Even when the answer is no, He's still using it for your benefit.

If you could bug my house, you'd hear me talking to Dad all the time when I'm alone. I'm either singing or having a conversation out loud. Hearing myself first of all validates that what I am feeling is real, even if something "I'm not supposed to feel". From there, God can work on my heart. It also reminds me of scripture that I can then look up, read in context, and meditate on. Sometimes, just hearing the words out loud allows me to hear the ridiculousness in my request, the insincerity in my voice, or inspire tears from the passion of whatever it is I am bringing to my Father.

I used to think that I didn't need to pray because He knows everything anyway. That may be true, but He doesn't need you to pray to be who He is. He's not going to somehow no longer exist just because you don't pray. Prayer is about you and your relationship with Him. Your heart gets changed and your relationship grows deeper when you open up to Dad. Prayer is a willful act though - either you willfully allow Him in to change you and love you or you willfully shut Him out in an effort to do life the way you see fit. Personally, I'll allow God, who is in His very essence love, access to my heart rather than allowing the destructive nature of sin to dictate my life again.

So try it. Right now. Tell Him whatever's on your heart. Even if you're mad at Him or think He's unfair, tell Him about it and be prepared to experience the love of your Dad.

Worth Waiting For?

Psalm 37: 4-5 "Delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will act."

There are about 6 different applications I can think of here, but once again, I'm talking mainly to singles...

As a group of single guys, we were recently chatting about one of our favorite topics (that would be you, ladies) and one of the guys got that glazed over look on his face as he was describing "her". Yep, that young woman that he was completely focused on and while she was single, she was not reciprocating his feelings. Still, like most of us, he had placed her on a pedestal so high and convinced himself that she was worth waiting for. We've all been there. Heck, some of us are there now! There's a couple of problems with this mindset though.

First, placing another human being on a pedestal like that sets them up as an idol in your mind. When they disappoint you or you finally get tired of waiting on him/her, it's easy to become depressed and bitter from the disappointment. Even if it works out, you've made them a god by your worship. You've got to remember that they are just as human and broken as you are. That time you spend waiting for them to see the relationship the way you do would be much better spent developing a friendship and getting to know them on a much deeper level in an environment where you can both be yourselves. Allow yourself to be be known and to get to know the real him/her.

The other issue I have is that one of you is waiting for the other one. In many ways, you're placing your life in neutral while the other person is still developing to whatever it is he or she is becoming. News flash - you don't control their development. Like the first scenario, you have placed your focus and hope on that relationship and you will be disappointed. What's worse, is you have neglected the development of your own relationship with Christ in the process.

Look, I know she's a phenomenal lady and he's an awesome guy, especially if they belong to Christ. There is a reason your paths crossed, no doubt. God is trying to teach you something or develop your character through the experience. That doesn't guarantee that those paths coincide with each other in your pursuit of Christ from that point forward though. Time will tell, but to stop your pursuit of Christ in order to pursue the object of your affection only shows your ability to give in to the temptations of a human idol.

Take some encouragement from this though: if not her or him, then it is someone even better. We are all in a constant state of preparation for different aspects of our lives, but our Lord who is preparing us has an infinitely greater perspective than we do. I promise you there is no more beautiful a lady than one who loves Christ with all her heart and there is no more amazing a guy than one who pursues Him ahead of any woman. When you have a genuine relationship with Christ, it oozes out of every aspect of your life and people, especially the opposite sex, really want to be around people like that. Remember, He promised to give us the desires of our heart when our heart is finding delight in Him.

One last thing - I love the back half of that verse. Commit your ways to the Lord, trust in Him, and He will act. It doesn't say He'll listen a little closer or put you in the fast pass prayer lane. No, it says He will act. You've got some good reasons to give this up to Him. The only question that remains is if you think you've still got this love thing figured out better than the One who invented it!

She's All That... and More

I don't really remember the details of the first time I met her. I'm pretty sure it was after a soccer match and she had told me "nice game" as I passed her in the hallway. I muttered a "thanks", but I didn't really want to be seen talking to her. After all, I was the star player, likely MVP, and probably playing college ball somewhere if I didn't get injured. She was a tiny little thing; bespectacled and dressed in clothes that definitely weren't in style and hid the figure she probably didn't have. Still, she always said something nice to me when I saw her. I almost felt bad for her, it was like she had a crush on me or something, but she really wasn't my type. Honestly, I didn't think I'd hear the end of it from my friends if I actually got caught talking to her.

Then came "The Game". Yeah, we were poised to move into the state championship match and full of confidence as we were up against a team we'd beaten soundly earlier in the year. Not only did we lose, but I put the ball in my own net as time was set to expire, giving our opponents the victory instead of going to overtime. Overnight, people crossed to the other side of the hallway, my girlfriend broke up with me, and I was suddenly a nobody. Even my teammates avoided me. Yet, when I passed her in the hallway, she tried to encourage me by reminding me that it wasn't my fault. It didn't really help, but I kind of appreciated that she tried.

As my former friends began to isolate me more and more, I found that I actually looked forward to seeing her. People started making fun of me, but I'd make a point to smile at her, knowing she'd always say something nice when she saw me. When prom approached, not only was Prom King out of the question for me, I couldn't even find a date. I'd asked a lot of girls and gotten a few dirty looks and a whole lot of laughs. I was sitting behind the stands at the soccer field feeling completely useless when she appeared. I didn't even think she knew there was a field much less how to get to it, but there she was. I looked around to make sure no one else could see us before finally greeting her.

She gently took my hand in hers and said something I'll never forget. "I know you're hurting, but I want you to know that I still think you're fantastic." Then she let it go and started to leave. I called out for her to wait and ran over to her. The words were out of my mouth before I knew what I was saying - "How would you like to go to prom with me?" Her face lit up, and suddenly, there was a beauty in her eyes that I had never noticed before. "Of course! I'd love to go with you!" I think she might have even giggled a little bit.

As the day approached, I began to get nervous. The harassment I'd been subjected to so far would be nothing compared to me walking into to prom with her. I thought about faking sick to get out of going, but I couldn't make myself do it. I finally told myself to suck it up and do it. She deserved that much for being so nice to me after everyone else turned. So I rented a tux. I went for the cheapest one I could find. After all, this wasn't going anywhere and I didn't really want to get her hopes up by going all out.

I went to the address that she gave me to pick her up. I didn't really know what to expect... a trailer maybe? You can imagine my surprise when I had to be screened by a security guard before the gates opened and allowed me into the driveway of her parents' mansion. Mansion might not be a good enough description. Estate? Manor? Chateau? They all seem too tame for her home. Now I was thoroughly sweating. What would her parents think of me? They'd surely see right through my lack of effort for their daughter.

The butler answered the door before I could even knock on it, took my jacket, and escorted me in. I cursed in my mind - I hadn't even remembered to get a corsage. Her parents greeted me warmly and seemed so genuine. I tried to think of how I was supposed to apologize or how I could somehow make up for my indifference to their daughter, but the sincerity of their warmness to me was more than I could handle. I finally tried to explain that I shouldn't be there, that their daughter was better than I deserved, and that I should leave - I just wanted to get out of there. I started to tell them about my ex-girlfriends and what I was really like, but her Father forestalled me.

"We know everything there is to know about you. Don't ask how, but we have sources that you can not possibly imagine," her Father told me. "Then clearly you understand that I should not be out with your daughter, particularly on prom night," I protested. Her Father put his hands up, "Nonsense. She chose you and that is all there is to it. Your past is of no concern to us now that she is set on you." I think I was in the middle of a thought when she started making her way down the stairs...

Oh. My. Word.

She didn't just look good for her, she was beautiful. Beautiful in ways that words can't describe. So beautiful that a tear trickled down my eye just looking at her. No glasses, no baggy clothes. She was slender and toned. Her dress fit her form perfectly. She moved with all the grace of a professional dancer. Her smile was infectious. Her eyes were locked on mine and I couldn't look away if I'd wanted to. Suddenly the thought of saying she was too good for me wasn't just an excuse to leave, it was the truth. There was no way that such a beautiful lady should be with an arrogant scum like myself. She deserved something so much better.

She kissed her father on the cheek and hugged her mother. Her parents wished us a good evening and I wasn't sure if I could even stop shaking enough to open the door for her. The evening was perfect. I have no idea what the others thought. I couldn't even tell you who else was there that night. For me, she was the only other person in the room and I wasn't about to take my eyes away from hers.

I really didn't know what to do when I walked her back to her porch to say good night. Should I hold her hand? Can I hug her? Kiss her on the hand? The cheek? What do I even say? She took care of all of that. Even though her parents were looking through the window from the kitchen, she took my hands in hers, kissed me on the cheek, and thanked me for a wonderful evening. I couldn't take it anymore. "I didn't go all in for you though," I explained, "I could have done so much more, but you were the amazing one. You're more beautiful than I ever could have imagined and you've treated me so much better than I deserve. I should be thanking you."

She smiled and told me she'd see me at school on Monday. As she went inside, I waved and said goodnight to her and her parents. I'd made myself a promise that if this wasn't a dream, I'd ask her out on Monday as soon as I saw her. I tried my hardest to stay awake, reliving every moment of the night. I was afraid that if I went to sleep, I'd wake up to find it had all been a dream... a wonderful dream, but just a dream.

Monday, no one really said much to me. Well, maybe they did, I don't really know. I was focused on this tiny little bespectacled young lady wearing clothes that were definitely not in style. When I finally saw her at the end of the hall, I sort of broke into a run and tripped over someone's backpack. As laughter fell all around me, a gentle hand reached out to mine and I saw the kindness and beauty in her eyes again. Even though the others saw the same girl that had been in the hallway last week, I had seen her true beauty and there was no way a pair of glasses and baggy clothes could make me forget.

Before I could even say "thanks", it was like she had read all the insecurities in my mind. "I know you haven't always noticed me, but I've noticed you. I've been at all of your games and practices, even if you weren't looking to see if I was there. I know I'm different from all your other girlfriends. I know that other people make fun of you for talking to me. I know you only asked me to prom as a reaction and didn't really want to go at first. I know that it was only after you saw my house and how I looked all dressed up that you were really attracted to me. It's okay. Even if you hadn't asked me to prom or were trying to figure out how to ask me out now, I'd still be there in the shadows, whispering encouragement to you on the way by, and hoping you would notice me."

My jaw dropped and for the second time, tears filled my eyes, this time out of guilt. I wanted to crawl in a hole and die. Was I really that transparent?

"The answer is yes, by the way," she said. Before I could even process what she was referring to, she clarified, "Yes, I want to go out with you and I want to be around your friends and family." I shook my head in disbelief of what I was hearing. It was more than I could have possibly hoped for, yet there she was, speaking every word of it. "Oh, and Dad, yeah, you can call Him Dad, says that our home is yours as well and that He expects you over for family dinner." Most people might have been a bit freaked out by that, but I actually found it comforting. It was like I was being adopted and even though I had been an arrogant, self-centered jerk that had never once treated a girl the way she deserved, it was the simple choice of the lady before me that had made me accepted by her Father.

That's when the most terrifying and wonderful thing happened. She looked at me with a tear threatening to fall from her eye and said, "I know that hearing me say "I love you" will never be enough, and there will come a day when you take me for granted. I will still extend my love to you. There will be a day when you will turn away from me, but I will still extend my love for you. There will come a time when someone looks more attractive to you despite my best efforts to show you my beauty, but I will still extend my love for you. There will be a day when you choose her over me and stay with her until you have had long enough to realize how much I mean to you, and during that time, I will still extend my love to you and I will accept you with open arms and no questions when you return. You will betray me with your words and your actions, but I will extend my love for you anyway. You will cause me to suffer greatly, but I will extend my love for you anyway."

I wanted to protest against her accusations, but something told me she was right. What kind of love was this? Who would choose to love this way? Who would choose a liar and a cheater with open arms? Who could possibly give all of herself in love to someone that barely noticed her then and will surely stray later? Who would understand the pain of betrayal and choose to bear it anyway? How could a lady so perfect choose to be with someone like me?

It defies all logic. It defies the way I learned that things work. It's not normal. No matter how many times I admit my fear that her promises aren't true, doubt she can really love someone like me, and am caught up by someone or something that promises to be better but never is, she reassures and comforts me. I can be completely open with her and she doesn't reject me for my past. She doesn't reject me for my thoughts I know I ought not to have. She doesn't reject me when I stumble and fall.

She is patient, gentle, and kind. She does not boast in the knowledge that she is greater than me nor seek someone else over me. She is humble; not arrogant or rude. She does not insist on getting her own way, but always gives me the choice. She does not resent the freedom she offers me and does not become irritated by my failures to love her the way she loves me. She always speaks truth and lights up when I learn it or apply it. She gladly bears the burden of my past without complaint or using it against me, she believes the best in me always, she has true hope that I will choose her over the temptations that others offer ,and endures with grace my seasons of trouble. Her love is in every way perfect, and though I may wonder how and when it will end, she is faithful in every way to continue to extend it with no hint of ceasing.


Epilogue:

For most of you, you already see the allegory to Christ's love for us here. Some of you may be thinking that I managed to find the perfect girl, or that you want to know if she has a brother. The fact is that I have found a perfect love. Perhaps more appropriately, I have been pursued by One who has a perfect love.

If you have an authentic relationship with Christ, this story should resonate within you. If you have been faking it, you're probably telling yourself something like, "I don't know where he gets all that from, I'm certainly not loved that way." If you have no desire to have a relationship with Christ or don't know even where to begin, I probably made Him sound like a creepy stalker.

If I could somehow open your eyes to see the world the way Christ has graciously allowed me to begin to, you'd see Him throughout the course of your day, everywhere you go. You'd hear Him whisper to you the encouragement you need to hear.

And when you finally say, "Yes, Lord, I want You in my life", it's a game changer like you've never before considered. Your struggles will become more real than you ever imagined, but His love will be extended in way you never thought possible. You will begin to recognize the arrogance and selfishness in yourself, and though you are ashamed, you will crave His presence and His unfailing love. You will learn that when you run to Him, you are always accepted with open arms, even when you trip along the way. You will experience the love that all of us "Jesus Freaks" can't shut up about.

Make no mistake though: you must choose Him. He will pursue you until death, but He will not force you to take Him. If this inspires questions, I've got answers. Ask. If I don't know the answer, there are some phenomenal people around me that do. We want you to experience the love and the life change that goes along with it. If you don't want to ask some strange guy that posts some almost entertaining and sometimes thought provoking writing online, look around for a church, group, or individual that is excited about Jesus, ask those questions, and hold on for the ride. It's going to be a party like you and I have never experienced, but none of us can do it on our own!

The Skeptic's Schism

I Peter 3:13 - 17

13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy,always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.

Ask most adult singles that have been around the dating scene for any length of time what they most want in a guy/girl and you're likely to hear the word "authenticity" uttered more than any other. Ask the same question of voters in an election year about candidates and it'll be the same. With people in our lives and leaders in our government constantly lacking authenticity when their words and actions don't match, we have become a very skeptical society. In fact, we're more likely to try and read between the words of a person rather than take them at face value.

This is a major challenge for born again/authentically changed Christians. For example, I'm a pretty vanilla kind of guy. I'm more likely to be soaking in the conversation rather than leading it. I love learning about the other person and their experiences even though it makes for kind of a boring date (sorry about that, by the way). On the other hand, start a conversation about Christ and what He's done in our lives and I get excited. I'm laughing, giving high fives, and acting like the life of the party when that comes around. I love hearing about your experience, but I also love to share my own. Why? Because I'm excited about what Christ has done! Really, genuinely, authentically excited! That subject is more important to me than any other because it's the only one that has eternal consequences.

Peter here though warns that our hope and excitement, even though authentic, is going to be met with skepticism. People that haven't experienced the change first hand have a hard time understanding it and fall back on the skepticism that defines our culture. It creates a division between us; a schism. If we're being authentic though, we've done nothing wrong and have nothing to be sorry for. However, we should be careful to make sure that our words and actions match. This world is always looking for a way to accuse the righteous and justify its skepticism. We're never going to be perfect in this world, but we can be authentic even when we stumble. Pray constantly for your heart to be changed to one of service to Christ. If you're genuine with Him, it will show up in your life, and any accusers you may have will all look foolish when people realize there's no truth to dig up - it's been on the surface for everyone to see from the beginning. 

Looking for "The One"

I told myself that I was going to get off of singles-based blog posts and try to get back to writing things that are a little more universally applicable... then I came across a story that was just WAY too good to pass up.

Remember that old phrase, "takes one to know one"? I always kind of wondered about that in the back of my mind - If God is gracious enough for me to have a lady in my life once more, what kind of person is going to accept someone like me? And though my mind wanders to all of the different things that make up who I am, it always settles on the same question: does she have to be broken like I was in order for is to have a solid relationship? I keep coming to the conclusion that if she hasn't, she won't possibly be able to understand me. 

Turns out I'm looking at this all wrong as usual. Sure, I'm a triathlete, a father, a traitor, and betrayer, but I've forgotten what actually defines me. I am a redeemed child of the Most High God. Period. Exclamation point. The fact that I belong to Jesus is the only defining characteristic. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold the new has come."

So there is a "takes one to know one" mentality here, but the questions that really need to be asked are different. Has he or she experienced real change because of Jesus in her life? That's it. Real change negates the past. Real change can bring together any two people, regardless of who they were. It doesn't have to just be a romance, either. Real change bonds brothers and sisters closer than anything else possibly can. 

So maybe that Spanish lady named Margarita who makes a good one and wants to rub my feet while listening to my mile splits after a long run isn't actually "the one" I'm looking for. We can stop looking for "the one" and only look for The One who is evident in his or her life. God might just surprise you with the type of person you find The One in, but guaranteed, he or she is going to be amazing for you and amazed by you when you are both truly focused on Christ. 

The inspiration for this came from another blog post, "My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth, and the Gospel" by Spencer Harmon and it is absolutely worth the time to read. I eluded to some of this on my post, "What's Your Type?" and I hope you'll go back and read that if you haven't already. 

Treason and the Traitor - Epilogue

Treason and the Traitor is more than just a short story, it is a metaphorical telling of my own testimony. Many of the greatest testimonies in the Bible and historically are built around personal tragedy, and a great percentage of those due to our own choices. Consider Paul or David for example. For those of us that have a shameful past, it's hard to share the details of our testimony. Let's face it, the antagonist is someone that we hate, but that person is who we once were.

When the telling of our testimony requires us to remember the things we hate about our former selves and we have not gained the confidence from sharing openly with tons of people, it's terrifying. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about the work that Christ has done in my life and I want everyone to know His love, pursuit, and faithfulness! There's still fear there though, fear of being seen as who you once were but no longer are. There is a real fear that we are not worthy of being loved and accepted once people discover what we are scared to reveal.

With time, it does get better. As God offers opportunities to share, your confidence in His ability to use that story to reach someone grows. People that have experienced their own tragedy are easy to tell it to because they have felt the redeeming love of Christ and they tend to be genuinely excited for you to be experiencing that love as well. It's similar with those that willingly gave control of their lives up and know that change is real. The scary ones are those that don't believe real change can happen because they haven't experienced it and can't see it. We're fearful of being not only rejected, but condemned by them.

Personally, I wish I had the courage to share my testimony with everyone, having no fear of rejection and knowing that my value is in Christ. Even though I realize that the telling of that story reduces my significance and brings glory to the One responsible for my salvation, the reality is that I am still untrusting in many ways.

So I tell you all this to make this point - it is worth the time to get to know those people that you know have a past they aren't telling you about but obviously love Christ with their lives. It takes time to build the trust necessary to get inside those barriers, but remind them that you love them for who they are, aren't rejecting them for the old self that was tossed aside, and that you are excited to learn what Christ has done in their lives. Then watch them open up. They (and I) will gain the confidence to share more and more. You'll get to hear a modern day story that proves Christ is still winning souls and is alive and well. Because of your willingness to love on someone that is scared, you'll empower them to continue spreading the good news. Even though the story isn't your own, your simple act of love will be responsible for reaching people that would not have heard it otherwise.

One last thing, if this is the first post you're reading, please go back and read parts I and II.

Treason and the Traitor - Part II

The truth is, I was never qualified to command this ship. It was false documentation that I provided to gain the captaincy. It was designed to be piloted by One who is skilled in navigating the waters in both calm and stormy seas. It was supposed to be sailed by One who did not look lovingly at the detail in which the vessel was built for His own gain, but who loved the ship itself for its incredible craftsmanship and understood its design. Only the One who built it from the first plank to final sail could know this ship well enough to navigate it through the entirety of its voyage.

I prepared for the end, I laid on the deck crying and wondered how painful it would be to die. I considered taking my own life on my own terms rather than allow it to be taken from me. As I gave myself up for lost, the storm subsided. A Man I had never invited on my journey, but spoke of as if He had been to satisfy those on board, was at the wheel...

...and I was terrified by His presence.

He somehow avoided the rocks and righted the ship. All that was damaged seemed to be as fresh as the day she first touched the water. He made her new again. Humbly, I offered the True Captain my sword and begged Him to take my life as punishment for my crimes. Gently and kindly, He embraced me. "Now that I have your heart," He said, "I can make a good sailor out of you. Although there will be scars, I will heal the pain, and now I can use you to reach others. You have always been valuable beyond measure to me, and now you can experience the extent of My love."

Some people see me as a slave to my Captain, but I have been set free. Some say there is still mutiny in my heart, but I take every emotion to my Savior and He brings me comfort and encouragement. People wonder when I will tire of glorifying and praising my Lord, but He gives me strength and courage to continue each day.

The people that sail with me now know who I have been, they know who I am, and they know that they are two very different people. As my Captain has released the wheel back to me, He is never far away to guide my hand and correct with gentleness. He continues to teach me His ways of navigating this sea, and it is like nothing that other men told me it should be.

I am not proud of who I once was, and I often find it difficult to relive those days as an example to others. My Lord has forgiven me for my crimes and has wiped the charges from His record. He has redeemed me to serve a greater purpose.

I hope that you will join me on my voyage. Stay as long as you like. Observe and evaluate what you see. Join the crew if you feel comfortable. Take the time to earn my trust, and as my Captain guides me, let tell you the story of my treason, the glory of His rescue, and the joy of His redemption. As your own journey moves on, you will be faced with choices. Will you look to Him and set yourself aside? He will teach you and guide you gently if you can. Will you trust only in yourself for your own glory? If you are to be rescued, you will first be humbled, and it will hurt terribly. Are you unsure of where you stand? We need to talk.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come!"

Treason and The Traitor - Part I

I set sail from the harbor with gentle winds and confidence as I lovingly looked over every detail of my ship. The vessel appeared to be finely crafted and able to handle the worst that the sea could muster. As I left the safety of that harbor and entered the open ocean, I recognized that I couldn't complete this voyage on my own.

So others joined me on this venture. All different kinds of people. Some taught me things I didn't know, others brought companionship, some that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. How they got there, I'm not quite sure. As the journey grew longer, some left and others joined, each leaving behind something significant. Through my words, I told them they were equals, but through my actions, I showed them they were pieces on a chessboard to be manipulated.

Then the storms came; storms I should not have been going through. Confident in my ability to captain this vessel, I knew the fault could not be my own. Someone misread signs that the weather gave us. Things began to break. The mast was in danger of collapsing and the bolts holding the rudder in place threatened to rip through the wood. I skillfully righted the ship and saved her from sinking, but the damage was done. I could no longer trust those on board with me.

Following repairs and underway once again, I replaced my crew with others that seemed more capable, but as we weathered yet another storm, I grew skeptical and isolated myself from anyone that might bring harm to my ship. I began to grow insecure in my decision making. Those that I still kept on board questioned me.

I allowed the ship to become one with the sea; letting it be tossed and turned whichever way the wind blew and currents churned. Despite the warnings from my last faithful crew member, I allowed the ship to be swallowed in the hurricane. The rocks were in front of us, but in my pride, I would let no one else take the wheel. In my insecurity, I would not allow my vessel to be controlled by anyone but the sea, who had blinded me from the reality all around, yet I would not turn my eyes from its perceived beauty.

With the rocks just yards ahead, I wondered which one among us had sabotaged my voyage and led me to this place. I stormed through the ship, cutlass in hand, ready to take the life of the man who had betrayed me. Hard as I looked, there was no one left aboard. There, in the very back of the cargo hold, someone had scratched in the wood, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Any hope of a successful voyage had ended because of the treason... and the traitor was me.

The Paralysis of the Paradox

Does anyone know how it feels to be ripped apart?
To know that what you want is not what you need?
And to know that what you need is not what you want?

To be torn between the here and now
And the promise of what is to come?

Do you know what it is like to sit paralyzed
Unwilling to choose what you know is wrong
But unable to take the leap towards what is right?

Do you know what it feels like to lay awake at night
Hearing your heart and mind clearly
But knowing they are untrustworthy?

Have you heard the whisper in your ear
Saying "Trust in Me, I know it hurts,
But this, too, shall pass"?

Have you entered a fight
That you know you can't win
But have the victory guaranteed?

Did you taste the goodness of faithfulness
And see the fulfillment of promises
Only to become dissatisfied again?

Did you pray to the Almighty
Telling yourself He is great
But believing He would do nothing?

Did you resign yourself to a life of disappointment
And believe you are too great a failure to be used?

Did you place God Himself in a box
Defined by your own expectations
And assume He would stay put?

Have you feared the rejection of men
And kept the story He is writing to yourself
When Christ died willingly to save you?

Have you been paralyzed
By the paradox that is created
When the battle rages for your soul?

Matthew 11:28 - "Come to Me all you labor and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Fight on, my brother and sister, do not give up! You are not alone. Hold on for one more moment, one more hour, one more day. Put one foot forward and move. Pray one more time. Read one more promise. Believe that at the moment when you have nothing left, you will be rescued. I promise you, that as I answered "yes" to every question in investigating the distress of my own heart tonight and the Spirit comforted and calmed me, He will be faithful to you as well. He will wrap His loving arms around you and allow you to rest safely there, His steady heartbeat a constant reminder of His love for you.

It's All About You

In my former life, I was a triathlete. The training and competition became my obsession as I used it as a "healthy" escape from a toxic marriage. Following God's timely rescue of me, I had committed to no longer competing, partially due to the fact that I understood that it had become an addiction. Nevertheless, I still maintained a fit lifestyle and enjoyed the benefits of running and cycling. It helped to forge new relationships and I found encouragement through fellow believers that had been through similar circumstances. Then, the opportunity came for me to compete in Florida Ironman 70.3; a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride, and 13.1 mile run - the long distances I used to train for. 

For the first time in my life, I said that I would only compete if it wasn't about me. We prayed about it, talked about it, and decided to use the race as a way to raise funds and awareness for the church we were planting. We raised some great funds for our church, thanks to our generous donors, but God had more surprises for me than I realized. 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those that are called according to His purpose."

In training for this race, I was forced to spend hours each week alone on my bike or in my running shoes since my needs were focused on greater distances than the people I normally trained with. At least there were other people at the pool. Through the training, God reminded me of how important that fellowship is with other believers and the longing to be with them trumped any chance of going back to this kind of training regiment full time again. 

As He ordained it, my former boss, a man who is more courageous than anyone I know and who once called me his friend and brother, was also competing. He is also the man that I betrayed above all others when I let sin rule my life. Honestly, I feared seeing him. If he had punched me in the face, he would have been justified. As it is, when I finally saw him passing the opposite direction on the run course, he held out his hand to me on the way by. I could have stopped and cried right there in my spandex among 1800 other athletes by this simple act of acceptance. I finished ahead of him, and when I heard his name called over the loudspeaker, was able to meet him at the finish line and deliver the face to face apology that had been way too long in coming. 

It's incredible to think that when we make our lives about us, He humbles us to remind us of who He is. Yet, when we humble ourselves before Him, He reminds of how much we really are worth to Him. I look at the way He reminded me of the importance of fellowship and the relief that comes from humbly reaching out to someone I've wronged, and I can come to no other conclusion that when I chose to make this event all about Him, He chose to make sure that I knew He was still all about me.