For a long time, this story had been, well, just a story to me. A cute reminder that we should always look to Jesus. After all, I'm not trying to walk on water, I'm just trying to navigate life. Like most things in the Bible that have become more and more real to me, it took experiencing the tangible reality of this historical event to really understand what we can learn from it.
I've referenced the shame of what is in my past on several occasions. I hate the man that I allowed sin to turn me into. The more I've returned to "normal" life, the more distant I am from those events and more distinctly different I am to the point that it literally feels like that was a different person. Still, the realities that it was my life hit me hard from time to time.
The times that I have shared my testimony and story with others, I have been confident in the work that Christ has done in my life and that the change was obvious to the person I was speaking to. This time though, the risk was different than what I had been placed in before. Instead of looking to Christ and being confident in the work He has done, I looked back at my past in fear of being defined by it. I was scared. I started sinking as the fear began to instill a sense of panic.
Fortunately, I had the opportunity to be reassured by who I was with and to stop and pray for Jesus to save me from sinking again. Sure enough, my confidence began to return as I changed my gaze from looking back to looking forward. It's never easy to confront those things in our past that we're ashamed of. Sometimes we do lose sight of the cross and begin to sink. It's incredibly comforting to know that He will still save us when we call on His name, even when we think we're supposed to have it all figured out.
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