The Skeptic's Schism

I Peter 3:13 - 17

13 Now who is there to harm you if you are zealous for what is good? 14 But even if you should suffer for righteousness' sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them, nor be troubled, 15 but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy,always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, 16 having a good conscience, so that, when you are slandered, those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. 17 For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.

Ask most adult singles that have been around the dating scene for any length of time what they most want in a guy/girl and you're likely to hear the word "authenticity" uttered more than any other. Ask the same question of voters in an election year about candidates and it'll be the same. With people in our lives and leaders in our government constantly lacking authenticity when their words and actions don't match, we have become a very skeptical society. In fact, we're more likely to try and read between the words of a person rather than take them at face value.

This is a major challenge for born again/authentically changed Christians. For example, I'm a pretty vanilla kind of guy. I'm more likely to be soaking in the conversation rather than leading it. I love learning about the other person and their experiences even though it makes for kind of a boring date (sorry about that, by the way). On the other hand, start a conversation about Christ and what He's done in our lives and I get excited. I'm laughing, giving high fives, and acting like the life of the party when that comes around. I love hearing about your experience, but I also love to share my own. Why? Because I'm excited about what Christ has done! Really, genuinely, authentically excited! That subject is more important to me than any other because it's the only one that has eternal consequences.

Peter here though warns that our hope and excitement, even though authentic, is going to be met with skepticism. People that haven't experienced the change first hand have a hard time understanding it and fall back on the skepticism that defines our culture. It creates a division between us; a schism. If we're being authentic though, we've done nothing wrong and have nothing to be sorry for. However, we should be careful to make sure that our words and actions match. This world is always looking for a way to accuse the righteous and justify its skepticism. We're never going to be perfect in this world, but we can be authentic even when we stumble. Pray constantly for your heart to be changed to one of service to Christ. If you're genuine with Him, it will show up in your life, and any accusers you may have will all look foolish when people realize there's no truth to dig up - it's been on the surface for everyone to see from the beginning. 

Looking for "The One"

I told myself that I was going to get off of singles-based blog posts and try to get back to writing things that are a little more universally applicable... then I came across a story that was just WAY too good to pass up.

Remember that old phrase, "takes one to know one"? I always kind of wondered about that in the back of my mind - If God is gracious enough for me to have a lady in my life once more, what kind of person is going to accept someone like me? And though my mind wanders to all of the different things that make up who I am, it always settles on the same question: does she have to be broken like I was in order for is to have a solid relationship? I keep coming to the conclusion that if she hasn't, she won't possibly be able to understand me. 

Turns out I'm looking at this all wrong as usual. Sure, I'm a triathlete, a father, a traitor, and betrayer, but I've forgotten what actually defines me. I am a redeemed child of the Most High God. Period. Exclamation point. The fact that I belong to Jesus is the only defining characteristic. 

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold the new has come."

So there is a "takes one to know one" mentality here, but the questions that really need to be asked are different. Has he or she experienced real change because of Jesus in her life? That's it. Real change negates the past. Real change can bring together any two people, regardless of who they were. It doesn't have to just be a romance, either. Real change bonds brothers and sisters closer than anything else possibly can. 

So maybe that Spanish lady named Margarita who makes a good one and wants to rub my feet while listening to my mile splits after a long run isn't actually "the one" I'm looking for. We can stop looking for "the one" and only look for The One who is evident in his or her life. God might just surprise you with the type of person you find The One in, but guaranteed, he or she is going to be amazing for you and amazed by you when you are both truly focused on Christ. 

The inspiration for this came from another blog post, "My Wife Has Tattoos: Marriage, New Birth, and the Gospel" by Spencer Harmon and it is absolutely worth the time to read. I eluded to some of this on my post, "What's Your Type?" and I hope you'll go back and read that if you haven't already. 

Treason and the Traitor - Epilogue

Treason and the Traitor is more than just a short story, it is a metaphorical telling of my own testimony. Many of the greatest testimonies in the Bible and historically are built around personal tragedy, and a great percentage of those due to our own choices. Consider Paul or David for example. For those of us that have a shameful past, it's hard to share the details of our testimony. Let's face it, the antagonist is someone that we hate, but that person is who we once were.

When the telling of our testimony requires us to remember the things we hate about our former selves and we have not gained the confidence from sharing openly with tons of people, it's terrifying. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited about the work that Christ has done in my life and I want everyone to know His love, pursuit, and faithfulness! There's still fear there though, fear of being seen as who you once were but no longer are. There is a real fear that we are not worthy of being loved and accepted once people discover what we are scared to reveal.

With time, it does get better. As God offers opportunities to share, your confidence in His ability to use that story to reach someone grows. People that have experienced their own tragedy are easy to tell it to because they have felt the redeeming love of Christ and they tend to be genuinely excited for you to be experiencing that love as well. It's similar with those that willingly gave control of their lives up and know that change is real. The scary ones are those that don't believe real change can happen because they haven't experienced it and can't see it. We're fearful of being not only rejected, but condemned by them.

Personally, I wish I had the courage to share my testimony with everyone, having no fear of rejection and knowing that my value is in Christ. Even though I realize that the telling of that story reduces my significance and brings glory to the One responsible for my salvation, the reality is that I am still untrusting in many ways.

So I tell you all this to make this point - it is worth the time to get to know those people that you know have a past they aren't telling you about but obviously love Christ with their lives. It takes time to build the trust necessary to get inside those barriers, but remind them that you love them for who they are, aren't rejecting them for the old self that was tossed aside, and that you are excited to learn what Christ has done in their lives. Then watch them open up. They (and I) will gain the confidence to share more and more. You'll get to hear a modern day story that proves Christ is still winning souls and is alive and well. Because of your willingness to love on someone that is scared, you'll empower them to continue spreading the good news. Even though the story isn't your own, your simple act of love will be responsible for reaching people that would not have heard it otherwise.

One last thing, if this is the first post you're reading, please go back and read parts I and II.

Treason and the Traitor - Part II

The truth is, I was never qualified to command this ship. It was false documentation that I provided to gain the captaincy. It was designed to be piloted by One who is skilled in navigating the waters in both calm and stormy seas. It was supposed to be sailed by One who did not look lovingly at the detail in which the vessel was built for His own gain, but who loved the ship itself for its incredible craftsmanship and understood its design. Only the One who built it from the first plank to final sail could know this ship well enough to navigate it through the entirety of its voyage.

I prepared for the end, I laid on the deck crying and wondered how painful it would be to die. I considered taking my own life on my own terms rather than allow it to be taken from me. As I gave myself up for lost, the storm subsided. A Man I had never invited on my journey, but spoke of as if He had been to satisfy those on board, was at the wheel...

...and I was terrified by His presence.

He somehow avoided the rocks and righted the ship. All that was damaged seemed to be as fresh as the day she first touched the water. He made her new again. Humbly, I offered the True Captain my sword and begged Him to take my life as punishment for my crimes. Gently and kindly, He embraced me. "Now that I have your heart," He said, "I can make a good sailor out of you. Although there will be scars, I will heal the pain, and now I can use you to reach others. You have always been valuable beyond measure to me, and now you can experience the extent of My love."

Some people see me as a slave to my Captain, but I have been set free. Some say there is still mutiny in my heart, but I take every emotion to my Savior and He brings me comfort and encouragement. People wonder when I will tire of glorifying and praising my Lord, but He gives me strength and courage to continue each day.

The people that sail with me now know who I have been, they know who I am, and they know that they are two very different people. As my Captain has released the wheel back to me, He is never far away to guide my hand and correct with gentleness. He continues to teach me His ways of navigating this sea, and it is like nothing that other men told me it should be.

I am not proud of who I once was, and I often find it difficult to relive those days as an example to others. My Lord has forgiven me for my crimes and has wiped the charges from His record. He has redeemed me to serve a greater purpose.

I hope that you will join me on my voyage. Stay as long as you like. Observe and evaluate what you see. Join the crew if you feel comfortable. Take the time to earn my trust, and as my Captain guides me, let tell you the story of my treason, the glory of His rescue, and the joy of His redemption. As your own journey moves on, you will be faced with choices. Will you look to Him and set yourself aside? He will teach you and guide you gently if you can. Will you trust only in yourself for your own glory? If you are to be rescued, you will first be humbled, and it will hurt terribly. Are you unsure of where you stand? We need to talk.

2 Corinthians 5:17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away, behold, the new has come!"

Treason and The Traitor - Part I

I set sail from the harbor with gentle winds and confidence as I lovingly looked over every detail of my ship. The vessel appeared to be finely crafted and able to handle the worst that the sea could muster. As I left the safety of that harbor and entered the open ocean, I recognized that I couldn't complete this voyage on my own.

So others joined me on this venture. All different kinds of people. Some taught me things I didn't know, others brought companionship, some that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. How they got there, I'm not quite sure. As the journey grew longer, some left and others joined, each leaving behind something significant. Through my words, I told them they were equals, but through my actions, I showed them they were pieces on a chessboard to be manipulated.

Then the storms came; storms I should not have been going through. Confident in my ability to captain this vessel, I knew the fault could not be my own. Someone misread signs that the weather gave us. Things began to break. The mast was in danger of collapsing and the bolts holding the rudder in place threatened to rip through the wood. I skillfully righted the ship and saved her from sinking, but the damage was done. I could no longer trust those on board with me.

Following repairs and underway once again, I replaced my crew with others that seemed more capable, but as we weathered yet another storm, I grew skeptical and isolated myself from anyone that might bring harm to my ship. I began to grow insecure in my decision making. Those that I still kept on board questioned me.

I allowed the ship to become one with the sea; letting it be tossed and turned whichever way the wind blew and currents churned. Despite the warnings from my last faithful crew member, I allowed the ship to be swallowed in the hurricane. The rocks were in front of us, but in my pride, I would let no one else take the wheel. In my insecurity, I would not allow my vessel to be controlled by anyone but the sea, who had blinded me from the reality all around, yet I would not turn my eyes from its perceived beauty.

With the rocks just yards ahead, I wondered which one among us had sabotaged my voyage and led me to this place. I stormed through the ship, cutlass in hand, ready to take the life of the man who had betrayed me. Hard as I looked, there was no one left aboard. There, in the very back of the cargo hold, someone had scratched in the wood, "All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Any hope of a successful voyage had ended because of the treason... and the traitor was me.

The Paralysis of the Paradox

Does anyone know how it feels to be ripped apart?
To know that what you want is not what you need?
And to know that what you need is not what you want?

To be torn between the here and now
And the promise of what is to come?

Do you know what it is like to sit paralyzed
Unwilling to choose what you know is wrong
But unable to take the leap towards what is right?

Do you know what it feels like to lay awake at night
Hearing your heart and mind clearly
But knowing they are untrustworthy?

Have you heard the whisper in your ear
Saying "Trust in Me, I know it hurts,
But this, too, shall pass"?

Have you entered a fight
That you know you can't win
But have the victory guaranteed?

Did you taste the goodness of faithfulness
And see the fulfillment of promises
Only to become dissatisfied again?

Did you pray to the Almighty
Telling yourself He is great
But believing He would do nothing?

Did you resign yourself to a life of disappointment
And believe you are too great a failure to be used?

Did you place God Himself in a box
Defined by your own expectations
And assume He would stay put?

Have you feared the rejection of men
And kept the story He is writing to yourself
When Christ died willingly to save you?

Have you been paralyzed
By the paradox that is created
When the battle rages for your soul?

Matthew 11:28 - "Come to Me all you labor and heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Fight on, my brother and sister, do not give up! You are not alone. Hold on for one more moment, one more hour, one more day. Put one foot forward and move. Pray one more time. Read one more promise. Believe that at the moment when you have nothing left, you will be rescued. I promise you, that as I answered "yes" to every question in investigating the distress of my own heart tonight and the Spirit comforted and calmed me, He will be faithful to you as well. He will wrap His loving arms around you and allow you to rest safely there, His steady heartbeat a constant reminder of His love for you.

It's All About You

In my former life, I was a triathlete. The training and competition became my obsession as I used it as a "healthy" escape from a toxic marriage. Following God's timely rescue of me, I had committed to no longer competing, partially due to the fact that I understood that it had become an addiction. Nevertheless, I still maintained a fit lifestyle and enjoyed the benefits of running and cycling. It helped to forge new relationships and I found encouragement through fellow believers that had been through similar circumstances. Then, the opportunity came for me to compete in Florida Ironman 70.3; a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike ride, and 13.1 mile run - the long distances I used to train for. 

For the first time in my life, I said that I would only compete if it wasn't about me. We prayed about it, talked about it, and decided to use the race as a way to raise funds and awareness for the church we were planting. We raised some great funds for our church, thanks to our generous donors, but God had more surprises for me than I realized. 

Romans 8:28 "And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good, for those that are called according to His purpose."

In training for this race, I was forced to spend hours each week alone on my bike or in my running shoes since my needs were focused on greater distances than the people I normally trained with. At least there were other people at the pool. Through the training, God reminded me of how important that fellowship is with other believers and the longing to be with them trumped any chance of going back to this kind of training regiment full time again. 

As He ordained it, my former boss, a man who is more courageous than anyone I know and who once called me his friend and brother, was also competing. He is also the man that I betrayed above all others when I let sin rule my life. Honestly, I feared seeing him. If he had punched me in the face, he would have been justified. As it is, when I finally saw him passing the opposite direction on the run course, he held out his hand to me on the way by. I could have stopped and cried right there in my spandex among 1800 other athletes by this simple act of acceptance. I finished ahead of him, and when I heard his name called over the loudspeaker, was able to meet him at the finish line and deliver the face to face apology that had been way too long in coming. 

It's incredible to think that when we make our lives about us, He humbles us to remind us of who He is. Yet, when we humble ourselves before Him, He reminds of how much we really are worth to Him. I look at the way He reminded me of the importance of fellowship and the relief that comes from humbly reaching out to someone I've wronged, and I can come to no other conclusion that when I chose to make this event all about Him, He chose to make sure that I knew He was still all about me. 

Lord, Make Me Lonely

Make me what??? As a single guy or gal asking God to make you lonely is about the last thing anyone would expect you to pray for. Why ask for what you've already got? After all you and I are already single! Doesn't that imply loneliness?

Eh, maybe...

Take a look at how the rest of the verse and chorus go from the song "Keep Making Me" by Sidewalk Prophets:

Make me lonely, so I can be Your's.
'Till I want no one, more than You Lord.
'Cause in the darkness, I know You will hold me.
Make me lonely.

'Till You are my one desire.
'Till You are my one true love.
'Till You are my breath, my everything.
Lord, please keep making me.

To me, here's a song (that's also a prayer), from someone that really gets it. In using my own struggle as an example, I look at the how much I desire to be in a relationship. The writer here turns that desire for something worldly around and looks at the heart issue - I feel lonely because God is not my complete desire; other things are competing for me. Maybe more appropriately, I'm allowing other things to compete for me. Rather than praying for God to bring me someone that will complete me, fill my needs, be me soul mate, or whatever else society tells us we're supposed to get from a relationship, the writer is encouraging us to have the discipline and courage to ask to be left in that state until the only One who can completely fill the void is in the proper place.

Mind. Blown.

While you're wrapping your mind around that, consider this little gem if you're single - you're ready for a relationship when you no longer feel like you need one. If you really need something, and you're not looking to God to meet it, you're looking in the wrong place.

Philippians 4:19 "My God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus."

So whether it's the loneliness of being single, or some other struggle, turn it around on yourself. What does it say about you and where your relationship with Christ is weak or lacking? Ask Him to fill the void personally instead of bringing something else from this world to do it. After all, you don't need something else from this broken world or a broken person, what you need is Christ to do what Christ does - love you and sustain you completely and perfectly. Put your hope in a broken world and broken people and you'll find disappointment. Place that hope and trust in an eternal God who's very nature is love... that's where you'll find unspeakable joy!

What's Your Type?

Yeah, I imagine the title on this one got your attention, especially if you're single. Let's face it, for those of use that are, it's one of our favorite questions to be asked. For a few minutes, we get to fantasize about that guy or girl of our dreams with no pressure of actually having to talk to him or her. A good friend of mine asked me this not long ago, and I'd love to tell you that I came up with some super-Christian answer that would make even Billy Graham proud... but I didn't. It was more along the lines of "Oh, you know, a Spanish girl named Margarita that knows how to make a good one, wants to listen to my mile splits, and massage my feet after a long run." Yeah, probably not my finest moment.

We've all got that type of person (or maybe specific person!) that puts that silly grin on our face at any given moment without notice. We've all most likely experienced having that person in our lives, but the feelings weren't reciprocal. Some of us may be aware of when someone had a crush on us, but we didn't feel the same way. Now, I'm not going to sit here and tell you who you should or shouldn't date, nor what you should look for in a partner.

What I am going to remind you of is what it says in Romans 5:6-8 "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Honestly, most of us that are single struggle with it - we're afraid we're not attractive enough, not smart enough, not fit enough, not... fill in the blank. Jesus was God, and He died for you and me. Not because we were awesome, but because we weren't. In fact, perfect is the only way we can have hope of eternity with Him, but every one of us screwed that up. Think about it, the thought of not spending eternity with you was so irksome to Him that He actually died for you. He didn't talk about dying for you or whisper sweet words in your ear about how He'd do anything for you, He just went and did it!

No matter what you think your faults are, He sees you as His perfect bride, and He is SO in love with you. That love never fades, either. It is as passionate for you now as it was the day you were conceived.

So yes, you are single in this season, but you aren't alone, and you're certainly loved beyond your wildest imagination.

By the way, I recovered from my not-so-hot response since I realized she wanted to know if I might click with a friend of her's (to which I was extremely flattered that she thought that highly of me) and told her I have only one real requirement - she must love Jesus. Here's the way I see it: if two broken people are going to try and make it together, the only real chance they have is that they both look to Christ in both joy and disappointment.