It began with a single lie, but it was an attractive lie... You will be like God. Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to her husband, Adam, and we've been believing lies ever since.
I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overcome us except that which is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."
He acknowledged that he was a sinner. Everyone was. He wasn't that bad though. He was pretty good, in fact. He was in church on Sundays, one of the best at his job, kept his children in line, and kept himself in shape. That's what he portrayed anyway, and most of the time, it's also what he made himself believe. His reality was a bit different though. His marriage was toxic, his job and sport were where he defined himself, and his kids were just another responsibility to manage along with his spouse and the other people around him. The issue was much deeper though, an issue of selfishness that bordered on narcissism. That made it very easy for me to plant the first lie - You deserve better - all it took was a whisper from me to make it take hold. In his pride, he was convinced that there was no fault in him, surely the problem was his wife.
Convinced he deserved better, but unwilling to risk his sterling reputation with a divorce, he settled in to just endure until... well, he really wasn't sure what he was waiting for and that was just fine with me. When I offered The Temptation, he simply suppressed it. He didn't think he could talk to anyone about it because you're just not supposed to have those feelings, especially if you're a good Christian like he was. You're right you know, no one is supposed to feel that. You'll be rejected if you try to get help. Oh, it was so easy to manipulate his fear.
I knew The Temptation had caught his eye though. He couldn't let it go completely. He tried to suppress it, but he never really committed to fighting against it. Once, he told me that it was wrong, but his hesitancy was obvious. He wanted to believe that it was okay. So I agreed with him. Yes, it's wrong, but it can be good. You can make it good. And it's SO much better than waiting on God to do something... if he's even going to do anything! It was cake walk. Just lead him to the conclusion he wants or wishes. Don't forget to isolate him though. If he has anyone hitting him the truth too often, it can derail everything. His shame of what he was feeling took care of that. Anyone that got close enough, he cut off without any help from me. What a useful tool guilt and shame are!
When he gave in to The Temptation, I made sure that he enjoyed it. He began to believe that the fantasy could be his reality. He tried to live two lives at first, but eventually, he could only operate as the shell of his former self as his mind and heart became obsessed with The Temptation. When someone would try to intervene, I'd just hit him with - You're untouchable. You're in control. No one can outsmart you and find out. You know how he'd respond? He'd actually lie to the people closest to him. Some of his justifying started sounding hokey even to me, but he was convinced they believed him! I love self-righteous people. A little ego-boosting is all they need.
Unfortunately, he had a friend, or brother would be a better term, that would not leave him alone. It took significant time, but this man managed to get him to glimpse reality again, ever so briefly. It scared him. He knew he was in way over his head and that he wasn't in control like he thought. He wanted out. I had to be more aggressive with what I told him next. You have done something too great to be forgiven. You will lose everything if you stop now; your job, your family, your way of life. You will be rejected by everyone everywhere if they find out, and if you stop what you're doing, someone will talk! It was too close for my comfort, but it was enough for him to slip back into the fantasy rather than deal with the reality. As long as I could make him believe his fantasy was, or could be, reality, he was mine.
As if I had enough trouble keeping where I wanted him, that man refused to let me have him. He made a choice that even left me in awe. He did for his friend and brother what he could not do for himself - he made the call that would surely undo everything in his life. He would have no choice but to face reality and decide what he could do and would do. I was speechless. Now I really had my hands full. I had the upper hand, but the Battle for his Soul was beginning...
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