Identity Crisis

I was at a get together once with some friends and family. I just kind of stayed on the periphery of the group and tried to make myself useful. Even though I was around people that I know and genuinely like, there was a feeling that I just didn't belong there. It wasn't that there was something morally wrong going on, I just didn't fit in.

I've had the same feeling at church. I sit there at times wondering if I'm really on board with the church's mission or having a desire to engage in the community that we are supposed to serve. Again, that feeling of "maybe I don't belong here" creeps in.

Maybe a lot of that has to do with my past. It's ugly and it's scary. Hearing about it doesn't exactly endear me to many folks. The fear of rejection and a lack of acceptance in the places that you're supposed to be accepted because everyone is can certainly contribute to that.

My beautiful fiancee' and I are in this very weird place where we have the support of our church in our marriage, but actually can't get married at the church due to policy. Hmmm... there's that feeling again. I just don't seem to be cut from the mold of the type of person that fits in.

So where do I go? Where do I sink down roots and really begin to feel like I'm a part of something meaningful?

The short answer: nowhere.

The fact is that I actually don't fit in anywhere. I'm not a triathlete anymore. It's hard to identify myself as a runner or a cyclist compared to where I used to be. I'm can't really identify myself with my job, by the people I hang out with, or even my church... and it's a great place to be!

Why? Because it reminds me that I'm not supposed to fit in here. I am not defined by the church I go to, the sport I enjoy, or the job title I carry. I am defined by the one title that has any real meaning: Child of the One True King.

Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Paul gives us a reminder here that when we become Christians, we not only belong to Christ, but that Christ lives in us. How would you define Christ? By His job? His activities? Who He hangs out with? No, the only way He can be defined is as the Son of God. If He truly lives in us, then the title "Child of God" is the only one that now fits us.

Flip the coin and it's no wonder that as Christians we don't always feel like we fit in. An eternal title from our heavenly Father doesn't compare to earthly ones. The two just don't mix. So in the words of Building 429, "Take this world and give me Jesus. This is not where I belong." You and I belong with our Father, and that is the only place that we will finally feel like we fit in.