It's War!

I don't typically use this blog as a rant, but today, I think we have a teachable moment that will benefit us and give us pause for those of us that are parents. The story goes something like this:

David hits Manny. Manny can't hit David back because of the people that are watching him. So Manny goes and says bad things about David to anyone that will listen and by his language, insinuates that he would like to kill David. 

Sounds like any typical 5 years olds that you know? 

Try adults. Grown men that happen to be professional baseball players. David Price is the ace pitcher for the Tampa Bay Rays and Manny Ortiz is the big hitter for the Boston Red Sox. Okay, I get it, a 94 mph fastball hurts when it hits you. Still, Manny has declared that "it's war" between the two of them now. Really, Manny? War? You're seriously going to tell me that because you got a bruise to your body and your ego that you now consider him as an enemy to the point that it would be your goal to kill the man?

David, Manny, you two are allegedly grown ups. Grown ups that get paid millions of dollars to play a game. A game, Manny, not a war. My first issue with your analogy is that it is completely disrespectful to our men and women actually serving. When they get hit, it leaves more than just a bruise, and they might not get to play the next day or even walk again. I have other issues as well. While you're getting paid to play that game, there's a kid about my son's age in the stands with his dad who doesn't get paid millions of dollars that saved for a month to bring his kid out to watch your temper tantrum. That might actually be my son and I. So thanks for being such a great role model in showing my son what is truly important in life. I'll be sure to talk to him about it even though he'll be disappointed in you when he realizes you were wrong. 

I'm not saying that you need to toss the ball back to him and turn to the other side so he can hit that one as well, but a little bit of maturity goes a long way. Yes, the media is going to eat up your comments, but we could be talking about you WAY beyond that if your response was more measured. What if you'd picked up the ball, smiled, walked slowly out to the mound to hand David the ball, and patted him on the back before returning to the plate and walking to first? Dude, come on! We'd be talking about you every time someone got mad when they were hit by a pitch! 

Look, no matter what we do in life, we have come to expect and even tolerate poor reactions when things don't go our way. But stop for a moment and take a look at the people around you and in your lives. I'd be willing to bet that the ones you gravitate towards are the ones that respond with love in their disappointment. They're approachable in difficult times and help find real and good solutions to move forward. 

There is so much really good stuff in I Corinthians 13, but allow me to focus on verse 11 - "When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up my childish ways."

Hey Manny, David, I still believe that you can change. The mistake doesn't define who we are, but we will be remembered by the way we move forward. Society has taught us to remain children though. You're going to have to break through that if you want to show that you're the adult here. An apology goes a long way, but owning up to your part of the wrong and unsolicited forgiveness will go even farther!

All I Know is that I Don't Know

John 9:25b - "One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see."

For the outsider, man, God is a confusing being. There are plenty of ways that they question the love, faithfulness, or even possibility of Him. How can God let bad things happen to good people? How can God allow natural disasters to happen? How can God be three completely separate beings yet one whole? How can God have always been there? Science is actively trying to find the "God particle". Terrible things happen all over the world at the hands of wicked people. It can be really frustrating to wrap your head around the idea that God is good, yet all of these things happen.

In John 9, Jesus healed a man that had been blind. The Pharisees (my old colleagues) questioned him first, then his parents, who deferred back to their son, who was of age to answer for himself. See, the Pharisees were divided - they couldn't figure out how a sinner could perform a miracle, but clearly He wasn't of God since He did the work on the Sabbath. In a stroke of shear honesty, the man simply says (paraphrased), "I don't know what He is, all I know is that earlier today I was blind, but now I can see."

I don't have answers to those hard questions for you. While theologians can answer some, it is impossible for us to fully know an infinite God this side of heaven. All I can do is point to the evidence in my own life as an example. There are things that were meant for evil that were turned into good. There are choices that I made in faith with no ability in and of myself to make it work out. There are simply points in my life that there is no other explanation for other than there is a loving God who is actively working in my life, and I have seen it in other people's lives as well.

While I do not know what it is like to be totally blind physically, I am very aware of what it is to be spiritually blind. I didn't even know I was blind until Christ opened my eyes. It's frustrating for people that have had this eye opening experience to not be able to say in words what can help you see what we can. It's the experience of Christ doing that work that makes the change. All I can do is point to my life as an example of the amazing work of Christ in the hopes that you will believe it can happen and that real change is possible. Our God has a perspective infinitely larger than any of us could possibly imagine. So what if we just start with the assumption that God really is love, and pray together that He opens our eyes to see the world through His eyes?

I'll end with this paraphrase from C.S. Lewis - "I believe in [Christ] as I believe that the sun has risen. Not only because I see it, but by it I see everything else."

Yes, friends, when God opens your eyes it is so significant that it is like you are seeing for the very first time, and your world will never be the same!

Bragging Rights

2 Corinthians 10:17 - Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord.

2 Corinthians 12:9 - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weakness, so that the power of Christ may rest on me.

Bragging - it gets a negative spin, but it's fun! It brings attention and affirmation to ourselves. You just ran your fastest 5k (or your first 5k!), you got a promotion, you're in a relationship with someone you're crazy about, you're part of a new church plant, you're.... you get the idea. We like the boost to our egos when we are affirmed and people "like" our bragging in the form of a status update on Facebook.

Why is boasting so wrong? For starters, it brings attention to us, but if we look at ourselves objectively, there's a much different picture than what we're painting. God gave you the strength and endurance for that personal best, He put the pieces in place for your promotion, He orchestrated the meeting between you and her, it's His church and not yours. Got it? Every good thing comes from God in His grace and mercy. On our own, we're nothing. We're just sinners floundering in a sea of consequences directly tied to our actions. Secondly, your boasting is cause for someone else to become jealous of what you have. Why cause your brother to stumble?

What Paul is trying to get us to see is that the good stuff isn't because of something we did, it's because of what God did. If you're going to brag about it, boast about the way that God's hand was in every part of the process and tell people you had nothing to do with it - because you really didn't! When you boast in Christ and your brother wants what you have, he can have it! As a bonus, you can help him get it. Paul actually tells us to boast in our weakness and I would add failure to that as well. When we talk about ourselves humbly in the reality of our situation, we act as trophies and testimonies to the goodness of our God since we show off that all good things we have are by His hand.

See, like just now, I took a sip of my smoothie and dripped it right down my shirt. Awesome. But that's what I'm good at; making messes. God cleans us up through the redeeming work of Christ. Notice there's no mention of anything I did to earn that. Christ did not say "No one comes to the Father except through me, but I made a couple of exceptions for a few people because they work hard."

Try this for a week - when you're on Facebook and you really want to post something about you, write it in a way that shows off God's goodness. If you can't figure out how to write it, then brag about someone else and boost their ego instead of yours. When you make your life the "Look What Jesus is Doing" show, people will want what you have, and that is worth boasting about!

Controlled by Christ

2 Corinthians 5:14-15 - "For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised."

You know, we really had it pretty good before The Fall. Adam and Eve got to walk in the garden with God each day and experience His love in a very tangible way. Of course we all know the story, sin entered the world and separated us from God. No longer do we have the advantage of that very real, physical relationship with our Creator. That doesn't mean that He no longer loves us, and it doesn't mean that He won't find ways to still do that tangibly.

Consider 2 Corinthians 5:14-15. If Christ lives in us and we now live for Him, does that not make us tools available for His use? Certainly He can use us to show His love to others! Sometimes though, our vision of Christ's love is limited. We only have one word for love, but the Greeks had 3: agape (unconditional), phila (brotherly), and eros (romantic). Keep in mind that God is in His very essence, love, and He's the inventor of it. If the Greeks could identify three separate forms, then certainly God's love for us is made up of all of those.

Take agape, the unconditional love of a parent in God the Father. A good parent is willing to do anything to protect their child, including taking the pain on themselves to spare the child. Sound familiar, like God providing a way to take our place? Then there's phila, the brotherly love of our Savior and brother. In that role, it is more of a sense of accountability, counsel, and friendship, marked with the a willingness to back us up no matter what. Finally, there's eros, the love of a romance. This seems to be the easiest to forget and toughest to wrap our minds around. Even so, we're referred to as the bride of Christ, and that is clearly a reference to a romantic form of love. Think of the imagery of a bride and groom becoming one flesh, then consider the way the Spirit lives in you as a part of who you are.

When I considered each of these I thought of the agape love of my mother, the phila love of my brothers and sisters (both biological and those that adopted me), and even the eros love of a special young lady. No matter who they are, they each offer a glimpse of the love of Christ in their own way. We're all broken, so none of them can offer the complete package, nor are any of them perfect in their own role (not that they don't try!), but they do offer insight. I find it encouraging that God uses people in our lives to offer us these hints of what He is about by extending His love through Christ in us. While each of these are satisfying in their own way, the full love of our Father will be so much greater when we can experience it in all its perfection!

Battle for a Soul

"Indeed, the safest road to Hell is the gradual one - the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts..."

- C.S. Lewis, The Screwtape Letters

It's easy to take over someone's soul. You simply make sure the path they walk is easy and fun. You make sure that they are focused on themselves. Feed them what they want to hear and before long, they believe it enough that they will no longer need me to guide their path to eternal damnation. The problem comes in when something sudden happens that makes them ask questions. It wakes them from the drunkenness of themselves and it's most serious form, allows them to realize that it is not about them.

I saw the daylight flickering in his eyes. He was waking up and recognized me as his enemy instead of his friend. I wasn't out of options though... not by any means. The realization of what I'd led him to do was the fuel, all I had to do was ignite it with a steady stream of guilt and shame. When a person wakes up, there is the possibility that you can lull them back to sleep. Not so with this one. The speed in which the Enemy was closing in on him was startling, and I knew my best chance was to end his life. So I reminded him of the gun cabinet and how easy it be. Over in less than a second and he would never have to bear the weight of consequence. Though he held the barrel beneath his chin, I was unable to get him to pull the trigger.

Unable to speak to anyone, he cut himself off from everyone but his mother and brother who convinced him to come stay with them. I should have had many opportunities to finish him off, but my Enemy had arrived and held me back. He (the man) was in a trance - he could not hear either of us nor respond. He simply went through a series of automatic motions and my Enemy guided him to his family. He tried to explain what happened and in doing so, opened his mind back up. I took my chance and invaded it. I tortured him to the point of causing physical pain and exhaustion. He could only stay awake for a few hours each day because of the toll it took on him. When he would sleep (and it would be as much as 16 hours every day), I planted nightmares and forced him to relive the Temptation and how he succumbed to it. He would wake up panicked and sweating, face streaked with tears from the terror that it was real all over again.

This was a very effective tactic and I had him where I needed him. It should have been natural to turn him to addiction or even back to self-righteousness, but he was around followers of the Enemy. Not the ones you find in church on Sunday, staring down judgement on sinners, but ones that had a real and lasting relationship with the Enemy. The Enemy was not winning the Battle for his Soul in his heart and mind, so he used others to get in where I had blocked. He recognized that I was inside him and even referred to me in his writings, but my grip was strong. He began to pray to the Enemy and his Father that he would be released from me. This was the turning point of the Battle. He had not experienced the presence and beauty of the Enemy to that point, yet he put his hope that the Enemy was real and would respond to the promises written in the Book. It is curious to watch a man have faith and hope where he has no real belief. In most circumstances, it would result in nothing but disappointment. Yet at that moment, the Enemy was given permission to enter and though he could not pray effectively for himself, the Enemy Himself interceded on his behalf.

All I could do was redouble my grasp and hope to take him with me. To remove me means to remove one's selfish ambition with it. It can be enough to kill or drive a man insane. Those that survive the ordeal become formidable enemies themselves, but it was my only chance. As the Enemy ripped me from his soul (you cannot take me gently, for then I can hold on), the raw, open flesh of his soul was revealed and he felt pain like never before. The magnitude of his sin hit him like a person staring into the sun with dilated eyes. He could not bear it. But now that I was out, the Enemy showed his gentle, kind, and loving nature. He stood between us, arms folded. Though he spoke quietly, it resounded like thunder: "This one belongs to me. He is under my protection and you will no longer control him." He cried tears that said what no words ever could. He could not fathom that the Enemy would claim him as His own knowing that he had committed crimes against the very One now standing there. Yet, there He stood and there was no longer anything I could do about it. .

It is easy to think that the Battle would end there, but I am a crafty one and being held to no moral standard has its advantages. You see, he had children and they had not yet been claimed by the Enemy. So I attacked them, causing fear and confusion. I whispered that their father did not love them and that it was their fault he was gone. They believed me but when word of this reached him, he confidently called on the Enemy through his tears of anger and fear. The Enemy gave him strength and comfort,removed me once more, and set His angels at the doors and windows so that I might not enter that home again. I attacked him again and again through the process of divorce and had an excellent agent working with his former wife. Yet  he recognized his weakness and ran back to the Enemy who comforted him, reminded him of the cost that was paid for him, that he was loved, and that He would protect him to the end.

I had failed. Though I tore apart his family and his life, he entered into communion with the Enemy. I still test his defenses frequently, but  his confidence in the Enemy's faithfulness grows with each attempt. He now shares the Enemy's victory over sin and death and over me with greater and greater fervor. I fear he may now reach others that I have my grip on and will make more like himself. My job is much easier when being Christian means that you go to church, follow the rules, and sit on the sidelines like good boys and girls. It is easy when they let those on my path define what it means to be a Christian. There are too many that now see truth through the eyes of the Enemy and who study His Book. My hope is that by using the religious and non-religious alike, that I can make their condition seem undesirable and at least contain the spread.

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Romans 8:26 - "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray as we ought, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words."

Romans 10:13 "For everyone that calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved."

Living the Lies

It began with a single lie, but it was an attractive lie... You will be like God. Eve ate of the fruit and gave it to her husband, Adam, and we've been believing lies ever since.

I Corinthians 10:13 "No temptation has overcome us except that which is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it."

He acknowledged that he was a sinner. Everyone was. He wasn't that bad though. He was pretty good, in fact. He was in church on Sundays, one of the best at his job, kept his children in line, and kept himself in shape. That's what he portrayed anyway, and most of the time, it's also what he made himself believe. His reality was a bit different though. His marriage was toxic, his job and sport were where he defined himself, and his kids were just another responsibility to manage along with his spouse and the other people around him. The issue was much deeper though, an issue of selfishness that bordered on narcissism. That made it very easy for me to plant the first lie - You deserve better - all it took was a whisper from me to make it take hold. In his pride, he was convinced that there was no fault in him, surely the problem was his wife.

Convinced he deserved better, but unwilling to risk his sterling reputation with a divorce, he settled in to just endure until... well, he really wasn't sure what he was waiting for and that was just fine with me. When I offered The Temptation, he simply suppressed it. He didn't think he could talk to anyone about it because you're just not supposed to have those feelings, especially if you're a good Christian like he was. You're right you know, no one is supposed to feel that. You'll be rejected if you try to get help. Oh, it was so easy to manipulate his fear.

I knew The Temptation had caught his eye though. He couldn't let it go completely. He tried to suppress it, but he never really committed to fighting against it. Once, he told me that it was wrong, but his hesitancy was obvious. He wanted to believe that it was okay. So I agreed with him. Yes, it's wrong, but it can be good. You can make it good. And it's SO much better than waiting on God to do something... if he's even going to do anything! It was cake walk. Just lead him to the conclusion he wants or wishes. Don't forget to isolate him though. If he has anyone hitting him the truth too often, it can derail everything. His shame of what he was feeling took care of that. Anyone that got close enough, he cut off without any help from me. What a useful tool guilt and shame are!

When he gave in to The Temptation, I made sure that he enjoyed it. He began to believe that the fantasy could be his reality. He tried to live two lives at first, but eventually, he could only operate as the shell of his former self as his mind and heart became obsessed with The Temptation. When someone would try to intervene, I'd just hit him with - You're untouchable. You're in control. No one can outsmart you and find out. You know how he'd respond? He'd actually lie to the people closest to him. Some of his justifying started sounding hokey even to me, but he was convinced they believed him! I love self-righteous people. A little ego-boosting is all they need.

Unfortunately, he had a friend, or brother would be a better term, that would not leave him alone. It took significant time, but this man managed to get him to glimpse reality again, ever so briefly. It scared him. He knew he was in way over his head and that he wasn't in control like he thought. He wanted out. I had to be more aggressive with what I told him next. You have done something too great to be forgiven. You will lose everything if you stop now; your job, your family, your way of life. You will be rejected by everyone everywhere if they find out, and if you stop what you're doing, someone will talk! It was too close for my comfort, but it was enough for him to slip back into the fantasy rather than deal with the reality. As long as I could make him believe his fantasy was, or could be, reality, he was mine.

As if I had enough trouble keeping where I wanted him, that man refused to let me have him. He made a choice that even left me in awe. He did for his friend and brother what he could not do for himself - he made the call that would surely undo everything in his life. He would have no choice but to face reality and decide what he could do and would do. I was speechless. Now I really had my hands full. I had the upper hand, but the Battle for his Soul was beginning...

This Mysterious Thing Called Prayer

Ephesians 6:18a - "And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests."
Matthew 18:3 - "Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of Heaven."

Prayer. It's a struggle at times. I get intimidated by people who can speak such eloquent prayers that it sounds like poetry. Sometimes when I pray, I catch myself trying to find the right words, spoken with the right mindset, with my heart in the right place, standing (or was I supposed to be kneeling?) in the right position, pointed in exactly the right position, and thinking that if I can just get it right, surely God will grant my request. That's the point where I feel pretty stupid about my prayer life. No matter how passionate my request, I've just tried to turn God into my own personal genie to grant my wishes.

I'm fairly convinced that aside from adoration, confession, and thanksgiving, all I should be praying for is that He would change my heart to be the man He needs me to be, period. In Ephesians, though, Paul encourages us to pray about anything and everything. In Matthew, we're reminded to come like little children. If you've been around little kids, you know they will ask for anything and everything. Frequently. Over and over again. No matter how many times you say "no". If it's on their heart, it's in their request to you. You see a commercial for Disney World and the kids immediately ask if the family can go. There's no thought of whether or not it's reasonable or how much it will cost.

This is how we approach our Father. He's our Dad. He wants us to tell Him what's on our hearts. Anything, no matter what it is. He wants to hear that you're lonely and want a romantic partner. He wants to know that your spouse is driving you mad. He wants to know that you'd really like to have a boat... that boat right there. Think about the role of a parent. Do you chastise your child for desiring something? No, but you don't give them everything they want, either. You know the things that are beneficial to them and you have the opportunity to use requests as teachable moments about finances, responsibility, and just life in general. Your prayer opens communication with Dad and He has the chance to bless you, comfort you, and teach you. Even when the answer is no, He's still using it for your benefit.

If you could bug my house, you'd hear me talking to Dad all the time when I'm alone. I'm either singing or having a conversation out loud. Hearing myself first of all validates that what I am feeling is real, even if something "I'm not supposed to feel". From there, God can work on my heart. It also reminds me of scripture that I can then look up, read in context, and meditate on. Sometimes, just hearing the words out loud allows me to hear the ridiculousness in my request, the insincerity in my voice, or inspire tears from the passion of whatever it is I am bringing to my Father.

I used to think that I didn't need to pray because He knows everything anyway. That may be true, but He doesn't need you to pray to be who He is. He's not going to somehow no longer exist just because you don't pray. Prayer is about you and your relationship with Him. Your heart gets changed and your relationship grows deeper when you open up to Dad. Prayer is a willful act though - either you willfully allow Him in to change you and love you or you willfully shut Him out in an effort to do life the way you see fit. Personally, I'll allow God, who is in His very essence love, access to my heart rather than allowing the destructive nature of sin to dictate my life again.

So try it. Right now. Tell Him whatever's on your heart. Even if you're mad at Him or think He's unfair, tell Him about it and be prepared to experience the love of your Dad.